Friday, December 02, 2005

Where Does One Pick Up This Behavior?

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Since last month I have been witness to some disturbing behavior by Male Boss. The reason why it bothers me so much is bcuz I have never seen anyone do this before. Its just completely out of the realm of normality and its starting to get under my skin. Pinching off a little toe cheese and smelling it, you ask? No. Picking his nose and flicking it against a wall? No. Something far less disgusting yet just as galling.

Male Boss has furnished the investment property pretty nicely. Most of it is high class stuff. So then why has he lately, been writing stuff on the walls and on the wooden furniture? Yes, seriously. What one might call defacing or graffiti is slowly becoming Male Boss' method of note taking. Phone numbers for take out dining, fax numbers, appointment dates with times and even television scheduling. Its starting to spread from the sitting room into the office area. They have gorgeous furniture in this house, items that I would be proud to have in my own home. I think this is why it is bothering me so much. Its a complete disrespect for what they've earned.

On his wooden desk and computer monitor, in permanent blank marker there is now writing. Stuff that is irrelevant and will never come off! Its becoming real bad cuz the other week, I saw Female Boss use a Sharpie to write on the side of her computer. Monkey see monkey do. I mean we have legal ledgers, message books and the large post-it note carriages all over the place.. including the sitting room and even some in the dining room and kitchen! What gives? Are they becoming that lazy?

In what could very well be a glint of hope, Female Boss actually got disgusted by the behavior after partaking in it. Kinda like when you pick at a scab and then all of a sudden some puss surfaces. I hate when that happens.. So yeah, she's now against the writing on the walls and furniture. Female Boss came back that afternoon with a can of beige paint to get the walls back to normal.

Female Boss re-paints the walls where Male Boss wrote frivolous crap for the past month. To her dismay, Male Boss comes back irate at what she has done.

"I have important people on the wall!" starts Male Boss.

"If they're that important they'll call back," fires back Female Boss.

"I don't like when you do's stuffs like this without my consent."

"Oh get off it jackass, the walls aren't your personal note pad."

"I don't give a fuck what you think they are not."

"Grow up."

So the weekend comes and passes. I get into the office on Monday morning for another eventful work week in anticipation for more shock and awe. First thing, Male Boss is already busy on the phone with clients and what else is he doing? That's right, I catch him writing a phone number on the wall. Shit's gonna hit the fan when Female Boss gets here. Right? Nope. She saw it, rolled her eyes and that was that. What the hell? Show some moxie, woman!

Instead of showing moxie, Female Boss has become worse than Male Boss over the last handful of days. Although, proving that evolution is alive and well, Female Boss does not enjoy the wall as her canvas for artistic expression. Instead, Female Boss has embarked on a mission to completely cover her computer, printer, scanner, monitor and fax with Sharpie doodlings, ideas, passwords and account numbers. Yes, account numbers as in bank. I have no need for this information but I mean come on, show some concern about anything! It is making the office look tacky and my Indifference vs. Bloodthirsty ratio is really starting to tilt in one direction. I find myself plotting more and more on how to get away with it all. Get away.. with.. hmm, yesss.. that just might work. Shit, wait up.

Mental note: Whatever you do, don't write down ideas from brainstorming on the furniture. Check.

3 comments:

Phelps said...

You should start changing the notes. Add ideas that she's never had. Stick extra digits before and after Male Boss' phone numbers. Put reminders of shows he never watches on his desk. Start writing down sex-chat line numbers on both desks.

Northe said...

Hahahah tho diabolical ideas I will not pretend to be able to write the way these people do. They make doctor scribble look like what the type writer did for clarity in communication. Plus, I am known for my microscopic, all-caps printing which is the antithesis of most ppl's writing. I just am unable to do it; however, to honor such a great idea I will begin to practice.

Anonymous said...

Time to "borrow" her check card and make some online purchases from crate & Barrell for yourself.