Female Boss Shorts 7

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Scenario #1: This one actually happened a long time ago but Female Boss actually brought it back up to me last week. I guess I really struck a chord with her. Back in the days of There and Fat Again I made a comment while she was on the phone with a Plastic. Apparently she has been holding it against me, unknown to me of course, till this very day. Finally she gets it off her chest. Here's the short:

"Well, Plastic, the problem is that Pigfoot is really starting to get hefty.. kinda chunky. Uh huh, I don't like it. No, I'm not crazy. No, the bottom line is that he has a weight problem!" - Is what Female Boss says.

"Yeah, he can't wait (weight) to eat (Har har, right?)" - Is how I respond.

So that's what pissed her off. Its weak at best, hardly worth mentioning again, its some shit we'd say back in junior high. The kicker is that she said that I disrespected, no not her as my boss and/or superior, but Pigfoot! This whole time Female Boss thought I disliked Pigfoot. It wasn't about the off the cuff, snide remark I made while interrupting her phone conversation but more about my feelings towards the mighty Usurper. Gimme a break lady, Pigfoot is held in reverence by many as an internet legend. Nutjob.

Scenario #2: For those that are curious, the dog training carried out by the "bird trainer" is still alive and well. Going so smoothly, in fact, that Female Boss has resorted to her own spin on things to get the dogs to behave like the loyal, house broken, listening machines she spouts them off as being. For example, The One was loose in the Investment Property not but a few days back. This is a problem. Why? Because Female Boss has zero control over the animal.. duh, pay attention! So while she chases him around the Property, The One is peeing and shitting everywhere. Everywhere. I suppose its a frantic "marking" behavior found in such esteemed animals like those you'd find at Westminster. Female Boss is now physically exhausted from trying to catch The One and screaming for him to "Get over here!" So she cooks up a ruse.

"Cohahahuuummaaaaahnn The One.. pleeeeeaassseee."

That's right. Female Boss is fake crying for The One to "come on." I am pretty sure that's exactly what this bumpkin of a Trainer told her to do. Spot on as always Female Boss. Spot on. Then of course, being the total prick that I am. I get up from my desk. The One is across the sitting room near the sliding glass door. I squat down on one knee and playfully say, "C'mere boy."

The One comes darting over to me so happy to see me. Seconds later I hold The One in my arms and turn him over to his mentally challenged owner. All I did was grin at Female Boss, took my seat and started doing work again. No need to rub in something so demeaning. Poor lady.