Male Boss on a Roll

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Male Boss has been the savior of my day. Sometimes, like most people, I am not feeling it.. one of those days where you just have the blues. I'd be a fool to look for any resolution in this flophouse that is God's greatest joke on me, so I don't bother. However, even God has His sense of humor when it comes to this place and He delivered me one, very pissed off, Male Boss.

He came out of no where with his rant switch taped to "on."

"These mother fuckers don't know who they fuck with. Fucking assholes is what they are. They don't think I know a thing!"

I have no clue what he is talking about. I am not gonna ask him. I am just gonna let him vent.

"Send me all the way to that shit and then don't have the papers we needed! Assholes wasting my fucking time."

The phone rings. Its for Male Boss. I look up toward the heavens and wink.

"Hey, Male Boss.. its Client."

"Good! I want to talk to that mother fucker!"

The best is how Male Boss answers the phone. Almost every single time he does pick it up he says hello, almost like saying "yellow" but with the h in front and a very oddly exaggerated o sound at the end. He answers the phone like this even tho he is literally stewing in his own juices. Its rather jovial really.. it takes the edge off.. kinda like how you'd want a spokeshole for a politician to answer the phone right before you tell them how stupid they are. Take your Coke and a smile and fuck off is what I say.

Male Boss doesn't even need my advice to tell em to fuck off, he switches to rampage mode all by himself.. good man. Most of what he says I unfortunately couldn't write down cuz I got another phone call while he was digging into this poor boob. Here's the stuff I do remember and wrote down.

"No, no, no! It cannot work like this! The things don't work that way! I drive in traffic for your guys and nothing!? Now I have clients calling asking for the documentation! What do I do? Huh!?"

Then the question of the century was asked.

"Yes, they calling me and I have nothing to give them! You tell me what you think, you think I am Santa Clause don't you!?"

I nearly fell backwards. Male Boss slams the phone down not giving the clown a chance to answer. I woulda loved to see where that was gonna go but what the hey I'll take what I can get. So after a few moments Male Boss addresses me in a soothing voice.

"Well Northe, what can I do? Sometimes you're the statue and other times you're the pigeon."

Someone put that phrase on a t-shirt or in a time capsule cuz its fuckin perfect.