Boss Warfare 5

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

When Male Boss is in a playful mood it usually means that he's in the mood to fuck with Female Boss. There is no exception to this day at the ol' place of business. Female Boss is on the phone and Male Boss has her in his sights. She's speaking with a Plastic that also happens to be a partial client of ours, long story but we do some side work with her every now and then. Whatever.. Female Boss is in the middle of gossiping.. cuz that's what low lives do. From outta no where, something catches Male Boss' ear and he will not stop until he has reached his destination: Satisfaction.

Female Boss changes her voice to her haughty, British accent, "Oh, I see. I did not know that deary was a Thespian."

Can you already see where this is going?

"What!? Who the fuck's a lesbian?" That's right, Male Boss is en fuego.

Female Boss turns her back to him while in her chair and continues the conversation.

Male Boss gets up from the sitting room and starts up, louder this time, "I wanna know who is the lesbian!"

Female Boss continues to talk, only slightly louder as if to tell Male Boss to shove off. Making a gesture or throwing a stapler at his head would get the point across, but no. Another simple option would be to tell Male Boss to leave her alone.. but my expectations are clearly too high and the reality is there needs to be more drama. As anyone would have guessed it continues to steep.

Female Boss changes subjects starts talking about a different Plastic. The second Plastic's name is mentioned. Male Boss' intrigue has been piqued.

In the middle of her conversation, Male Boss starts talking over Female Boss and inching his way closer to her trying desperately trying to get her attention or see if the Plastic on the other end of the phone will acknowledge him and get back on topic, "You think she's a lesbian? No freaking way! I know she likes the men!"

He moves in ever closer to Female Boss' personal space, "Its not her, Female Boss! You guys are dead wrong. I have seen her with the man before."

"PLEASE!!!" she screams.

Male Boss takes a step back with a disgusted look on his face, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Female Boss tells the Plastic that she has to go and slams the phone down.

"You know what, Male Boss? You're fucked in the head!"

"I do not."

"You do! You're fucked in the head!"

"I not understand who you talk about, okay? Is that okay with you!?"

"Jeezus Christ, would you leave me the hell alone?"

Male Boss softens his voice, "Who the fuck is the lesbian? Come on, I wanna know. Please tell me."

"Your mom."

Anger achieved once again, "What!? You better not talk about my mother! She'll fucking kill you if you tell her that!"

"Male Boss, you have no clue what we're talking about. Go take a seat on your couch and shove potato chips in your ears."

"You're a real bitch, but you know that tho don't you?"

"I'm leaving."

The best part is I am pretty sure Male Boss never received an explanation on what was really said. Chances are the next time he hears the word thespian he will still think the person said lesbian. His vocabulary just isn't strong enuff.. which is what makes working here extra fun.