A Finer Moment

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Sorry for the late evening post. I didn't get a chance to write shit all week. If you understood how busy I was this week you'd pretend to empathize with me.. its a good one tho, enjoy it.

I remember this one time, when I first started at this gig. Back when I had to cannibalize those around me so I could put food on the table. You know, back in these days.

Well, lemme backtrack a bit. Before I had the current job that I hold here, there was the whole ascension thing I had to go thru. This is another of the many steps I had to take to ensure my right to the throne. This particular tale has to do with my ability to grind down one's soul to dust over a short period of time. My target was this fooligan of a girl.. jeezus.. how am I gonna describe this whore? Well lets make it easy and just go ahead and call her Whore. Very well then. So, Whore landed a job in the office before I did. Not by much, maybe by a couple months. I think the whole recent hirings deal had to do with a few of their long time employees decided to up and leave so we became their replacements.

Moving right along.. after Female Boss introduced me to my new co-worker, my eyes perked up. Something interesting about myself is that kinda like how a dog can sense someone's fear, I can sense someone's stupidity. To be blunt, this clownass is off the charts dim. On top of that I have this tendency to pick on those with a low self-esteem. Whore happens to have one of those too. After further review I can tell that she's one of those unattractive office temptresses that bats her doe eyes and begs for help getting whatever she wants thanks to the jelly-spined males I am ashamed to be associated with. You know who you are, you fools. Try getting some standards. You hear me? Ugly is not a standard either so stop letting yourself off the hook. Just cuz a girl thinks she's fine or acts like she's attractive on any level doesn't make you slick if she talks to you. You're ripe for shit talking if you pull it around me. Step up your game. Challenge yourself!

Once I've taken note that Whore is bathed with a triple dose of "Put me out of my misery, Northe," l deem, as king, that this job isn't right for her. Basically having to share the same air space with someone so unproductive and whiney assists me in arriving at my executive decision. Whore now becomes a target of my malice. Like any good flayer of flesh, I coerce Whore into my confidence. Such tactics may include speaking down to them as a of show superiority but with a smile to give your average pigeon, whose diet likely consists of heaping portions shit-faced grins, something to be distracted with while taking the verbal beating. Once your mark is softened up, depending on the degree of stubborness this may take a few days to a week, you start with the gossip.

Being in many business politic situations, I can tell you that there's nothing more the bottom feeders of the office crave more than gossip. What's more is that when you give them a "head's up" on a suspicion that you are "having" that "directly affects them" you'll be "idolized" before "you" know "it." With the tenacity of a dung beetle I start shuttling mounds of bullshit her way on a quarterly basis. Quarterly meaning four times a day. Usually start off in the morning with what I like to call an eye opener. Around lunch time you wanna smack em with some heavy conspiracies and at the close the day.. say when you're walking to your cars or if you leave earlier than them, a gentle whisper over their shoulder planting a seed for the morrow.

Let me tell you my idea then. Basically it was my intention to pit Whore against Female Boss. Knowing that women are absolutely crazy (men are stupid, girls are crazy.. more on this another time). Let's face facts here, this is hardly a challenge for me; however, I would introduce the fact that even someone as skilled as Vasili Zaitsev would enjoy taking a magnifying glass to an ant on a hot summer day.

So let's go over what a typical onslaught from me to Whore would look like on one of the few short days it took me to win over her mind, shall we?

Eye Opener: "Was Female Boss kind of a jerk to you this morning too?"

Your Angry Time Explanation: Reason being is that a typical morning employee isn't very alert upon entry to the office. Most mornings consist of waking up and complaining about their life till they park themselves in their seat and work on their chair-ass. Forcing the mark to second guess one's recollection, as I have shown here, helps bring awareness to any unfavorable treatment. Focus the mind of your guinea pig to only see the negative.

Lunch Time Folly: "Female Boss was kinda bitching about some work you had done. Did she make any mention of it to you?

*The answer is most certainly no.

Your Angry Time Explanation: You can be assured of this playing out bcuz you made it up. How could the answer be yes to something that never happened? All that is left to do is steer the conversation toward how much work has been taxing your brain. You know, doom and gloom it. This is sure to get the depression to surface if not bubble over.

Follow Up: Before lunch is over, go ahead and reassure your target.

"Bah. Anyway. I think I'm just venting. Female Boss isn't that bad. I'm sure its nothing."

Your Angry Time Explanation: Cuz when you've started, you might as well have a good deal of fun while you're at it. Plus, downplaying such a serious conversation to be something irrelevant will help propel the zero to insanity that much quicker. If you wish to toy with your prey for a longer period of time, feel free to ignore this step.

End of Day Closer: Go ahead and explore any whim that you may have. One that I always found to be trustworthy was, "We're free till tomorrow. Then, it begins again.. should be better tomorrow tho." Shit-faced grin, wave.. walk away.

Your Angry Time Explanation: The goal here is to make them dread work. Remember, keep your eye on the prize. My goal is to cannibalize her position. I am following that path. Whatever your goal may be, manipulation, getting the mark to hate you, suicide.. the key is to never stray too far from what you wish to ultimately accomplish. Lack discipline and you will compromise your mission.

Several days into the hazing, Whore is a basket case. With some helpful mood swings by Female Boss, Whore does not know up from down. Whore is certain that Female Boss hates her and the pressure is really beginning to mount. Without further detail I will have you know that she crumbled in about a week's time.

My favorite was the day before the morning she called in to the office to quit she was stewing at her desk. In Whore's frantic state she was fidgeting noticeably. Now you have to get the finality of the story in context, we are essentially in a house, we work out of one.. doesn't matter that its techinically an office. The place we work in is a home and you really do feel that comfortable.. but not Whore. Poor thing. She musters up the courage finally and this was probably one of her last phrases ever uttered at the office. It went like this:

"Umm, Female Boss?"

"Yes?"

"Umm, do you mind if I get up to grab a glass of water?"

Realize how strong the fear had gripped her. When was the last time you asked anyone permission to drink anything? Whore was broken down to dust and jelly. No courage, no confidence, no gumption. Like I said, she quit the next day. Not in person either, she phoned in and said she would no longer be attending work here. We mailed Whore's final check that afternoon.

Boss Warfare 5

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

When Male Boss is in a playful mood it usually means that he's in the mood to fuck with Female Boss. There is no exception to this day at the ol' place of business. Female Boss is on the phone and Male Boss has her in his sights. She's speaking with a Plastic that also happens to be a partial client of ours, long story but we do some side work with her every now and then. Whatever.. Female Boss is in the middle of gossiping.. cuz that's what low lives do. From outta no where, something catches Male Boss' ear and he will not stop until he has reached his destination: Satisfaction.

Female Boss changes her voice to her haughty, British accent, "Oh, I see. I did not know that deary was a Thespian."

Can you already see where this is going?

"What!? Who the fuck's a lesbian?" That's right, Male Boss is en fuego.

Female Boss turns her back to him while in her chair and continues the conversation.

Male Boss gets up from the sitting room and starts up, louder this time, "I wanna know who is the lesbian!"

Female Boss continues to talk, only slightly louder as if to tell Male Boss to shove off. Making a gesture or throwing a stapler at his head would get the point across, but no. Another simple option would be to tell Male Boss to leave her alone.. but my expectations are clearly too high and the reality is there needs to be more drama. As anyone would have guessed it continues to steep.

Female Boss changes subjects starts talking about a different Plastic. The second Plastic's name is mentioned. Male Boss' intrigue has been piqued.

In the middle of her conversation, Male Boss starts talking over Female Boss and inching his way closer to her trying desperately trying to get her attention or see if the Plastic on the other end of the phone will acknowledge him and get back on topic, "You think she's a lesbian? No freaking way! I know she likes the men!"

He moves in ever closer to Female Boss' personal space, "Its not her, Female Boss! You guys are dead wrong. I have seen her with the man before."

"PLEASE!!!" she screams.

Male Boss takes a step back with a disgusted look on his face, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Female Boss tells the Plastic that she has to go and slams the phone down.

"You know what, Male Boss? You're fucked in the head!"

"I do not."

"You do! You're fucked in the head!"

"I not understand who you talk about, okay? Is that okay with you!?"

"Jeezus Christ, would you leave me the hell alone?"

Male Boss softens his voice, "Who the fuck is the lesbian? Come on, I wanna know. Please tell me."

"Your mom."

Anger achieved once again, "What!? You better not talk about my mother! She'll fucking kill you if you tell her that!"

"Male Boss, you have no clue what we're talking about. Go take a seat on your couch and shove potato chips in your ears."

"You're a real bitch, but you know that tho don't you?"

"I'm leaving."

The best part is I am pretty sure Male Boss never received an explanation on what was really said. Chances are the next time he hears the word thespian he will still think the person said lesbian. His vocabulary just isn't strong enuff.. which is what makes working here extra fun.

Leave The Guy Be

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

You know my friend Chakhtee? Well if you do, you know that he is the token pinata here at Angry Time. He takes it from all sides and keeps coming back for more. Tho, his latest criticism by Female Boss is wayyy over the top.. even for her.

Female Boss is at the office before me for once.. sonderbar. She waves me over while on the telephone. When I get within arm's length, or what I like to call "slashing distance" she hangs up the phone.

"Oh.. my.. god! You have to listen to Chakhtee's voicemail message. He is blubbering like a little girl that skinned her knee!"

"Hmm, okay, "Dial away."

Female Boss hits redial and hands me the phone. After a few rings I hear Chakhtee's voicemail message. Nothing strikes me as odd. In fact, he sounds much more professional than normal. As I listen, I can see Female Boss' eyes widening along with a shit-faced grin bobbing her head up and down much like it would do if I were to mount it on a bamboo pike and placed it outside facing a stiff wind. Oh, the sweet visuals. Back on track I decide to take that smile off her face.

"I don't know. He sounds normal to me."

"Come on! Listen to it again!"

I decide, against my better judgment, to go ahead and listen to his voicemail a second time. This time before it starts I put it on speaker phone so that she can hear it and I can point out that there is no change in tone or pitch and merely Chakhtee's normal voice with a professional voicemail greeting. This doesn't work as intended.

After walking her through it, Female Boss still disagrees and starts to mimic the voicemail message while pretending to rub the side of her right eye, sniffing and sulking like a true fuckin' idiot. I tell her that she is totally exaggerating and say, "Its not at all that bad."

"So you hear it then!" she booms.

This is a statement, not a question. Essentially, Female Boss interprets my words as, "Its not at all that bad." rather than "Listen dumb shit, he sounds normal and you're a boob."

So I tell her, "I could see if he was sniffing or whimpering in the greeting but he's talking like normal the entire time."

"You know what, you're probably right. I just never noticed that he sounds like he's crying whenever he speaks."

One might assume that Female Boss is speaking with sarcasm but she isn't. She truly believes that one can sound like they are crying without making the noises, the sniffing, the crack in one's voice that typical crying tends to do to one's speech. The truth behind this all, methinks, is that she disdains this poor sap so much that she is obsessing over anything that he does to make him out to be worse and worse in her mind. Hell, why not? I am sure there are plenty of people out there that can testify to this little episode as being a sign of fantastic mental health for our friend Female Boss. Keep on truckin' lady.

Important Phone Call

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

"Yes, Mr. Client. Absolutely. No problem, Mr. Client."

Kinda crazy when you look at this whole work thing from a step back. Here we have Female Boss, one of the most insane and unstable people I have ever met, yet when she gets on the phone with one of our clients, especially a bigwig Client, she's on her shit. I gotta give her credit. She knows how to work these fools and keep 'em happy when she actually feels like asserting herself. I mean, her typical behavior and vocabulary in here is worthy of being behind the dugout of a visiting team.

"Okay, let me read back the information so I know I have all my ducks in a row," she says.

Ducks in a row.. good one. Oh by the way, do you know my friend Chakhtee? He walks in with Male Boss.. they went to lunch together. While Female Boss is in the middle of reading back this information to Client, the dogs start up their usual ear drum shattering welcome call. Three, two, one.. queue Demonseed. Yeah, that's it. Right on time. Bird yelling mixed in with a potpourri of dog barking aka Zen.

"What? What? Sorry, Mr. Client I can't hear you."

Female Boss lunges at Male Boss clutching the phone to her chest tightly, "What the hell are you doing!?"

At best, the phone smothered into her bosom reduced the ear shattering question into a mere scream. Male Boss could give a shit. Chakhtee? Well, Chakhtee stands there like a lump. Female Boss turns red. Heads are about to roll.

This time Female Boss, covers the receiver with her palm amidst the flurry of noise, "I'm on the fucking phone!"

The two zombies just stand there. Female Boss has had it. She goes for the cordless and finishes the phone call out in the front yard. Chakhtee and Male Boss do the classic TV move of looking at one another, shrugging their shoulders and drop anchor on the couch simultaneously to break into a bag of potato chips. Phased? Never. The dogs are still going nuts but Demonseed has cooled her jets. Female Boss doesn't return till after Male Boss leaves again with Chakhtee. My best guess puts Female Boss standing outside avoiding entry to the investment property for a good hour. What a head case.. Then this lady graces me with her wisdom:

"Doesn't he get it!? The dogs don't like him! He needs to stop bringing him here. Argh, he doesn't get it! I can't take it. He needs to realize that they really dislike him. I wish he'd stop bringing him here.. while I'm on the phone no less!"

So its all Chakhtee's fault right? Furthermore, Male Boss knew you were on the phone with Client and couldn't wait to rain on your parade, right? Unreal. Retard. To see her continue this illusion that the dogs only go nuts when Chakhtee comes in and no one else is so fuckin annoying to me. So, in order to let her know that I feel her frustration.. ya know, that I am the go-to guy.. the shoulder to cry on.. the listening ear.. that I, Northe, care.. the response I offer her is as follows:

"Huh?"

Stuff it, idiot.

Female Boss Shorts 7

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Scenario #1: This one actually happened a long time ago but Female Boss actually brought it back up to me last week. I guess I really struck a chord with her. Back in the days of There and Fat Again I made a comment while she was on the phone with a Plastic. Apparently she has been holding it against me, unknown to me of course, till this very day. Finally she gets it off her chest. Here's the short:

"Well, Plastic, the problem is that Pigfoot is really starting to get hefty.. kinda chunky. Uh huh, I don't like it. No, I'm not crazy. No, the bottom line is that he has a weight problem!" - Is what Female Boss says.

"Yeah, he can't wait (weight) to eat (Har har, right?)" - Is how I respond.

So that's what pissed her off. Its weak at best, hardly worth mentioning again, its some shit we'd say back in junior high. The kicker is that she said that I disrespected, no not her as my boss and/or superior, but Pigfoot! This whole time Female Boss thought I disliked Pigfoot. It wasn't about the off the cuff, snide remark I made while interrupting her phone conversation but more about my feelings towards the mighty Usurper. Gimme a break lady, Pigfoot is held in reverence by many as an internet legend. Nutjob.

Scenario #2: For those that are curious, the dog training carried out by the "bird trainer" is still alive and well. Going so smoothly, in fact, that Female Boss has resorted to her own spin on things to get the dogs to behave like the loyal, house broken, listening machines she spouts them off as being. For example, The One was loose in the Investment Property not but a few days back. This is a problem. Why? Because Female Boss has zero control over the animal.. duh, pay attention! So while she chases him around the Property, The One is peeing and shitting everywhere. Everywhere. I suppose its a frantic "marking" behavior found in such esteemed animals like those you'd find at Westminster. Female Boss is now physically exhausted from trying to catch The One and screaming for him to "Get over here!" So she cooks up a ruse.

"Cohahahuuummaaaaahnn The One.. pleeeeeaassseee."

That's right. Female Boss is fake crying for The One to "come on." I am pretty sure that's exactly what this bumpkin of a Trainer told her to do. Spot on as always Female Boss. Spot on. Then of course, being the total prick that I am. I get up from my desk. The One is across the sitting room near the sliding glass door. I squat down on one knee and playfully say, "C'mere boy."

The One comes darting over to me so happy to see me. Seconds later I hold The One in my arms and turn him over to his mentally challenged owner. All I did was grin at Female Boss, took my seat and started doing work again. No need to rub in something so demeaning. Poor lady.

200th Post

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Can you believe it, friends? 200 posts in and literally another 3 dozen sitting on my desk here to be written and scores to come I am sure. The 200th post should be something pretty extraordinary but rather than hype up anything that will likely fall short of expectations I'll just take a few of my favorite Male Boss moments over the course of the last few months and turn them into a synopsis..

I give you, Male Boss:

Scenario #1: Male Boss has his head up his ass. I know this sounds like it is more of a state of normalcy but it truly isn't. For the most part Male Boss is locked in to what he is doing but today he is off his game. He is mumbling and muttering shit that I haven't the slightest clue about. His computer is giving him problems and he is constantly asking me what to click and what to do. I help him as minimally as possible to see the pent up rage run wild. In the midst of one of his spasms he turns to me and asks, "Hey Northe, have you ever worked as a waiter?"

"No, sir."

"Female Boss was a waiter. She fucking sucked. That's what her old boss tells it. Damn it. This fucking computer. Oh well, I'm gonna go take a shit and see what happens."

What does that even mean?

Scenario #2: Male Boss seems bored. Usually when he is bored he'll crack open a bag of his favorite potato chips and turn his shirt into a giant grease stain. Well friends, today is different. He goes for the sliding glass door and grabs Puppy from outside.

"Hey Northe, check out this girl. She's a party girl."

Clearly mesmerized by the importance of his revelation I respond, "Neat."

"Check it out. She's a party girl. Parrrtyy girl. Parrrrrrtyyyy girl," he says rolling his r's.

I turn to look at him just in time.

"Parrrrrrrtyy girl!"

*Snap*

"You mother fucker!"

*Thud*

Puppy is thrown to the ground. Shockingly, Puppy bit his finger. Unheard of I know. Nothing I have ever written before would have ever pointed to that conclusion.

Scenario #3: Male Boss comes storming into the office. Its about noonish. He is flustered.

"Fuck Northe, I am late."

"What's up?" I ask him.

"I gotta meet that Client at his office for that meeting you scheduled for me at 12:30."

"Want me to tell him that you're running late?"

"No, I can make it. Okay, I gotta go."

The phone rings and I answer it, that's the last I see of him. The day turns out to be pretty busy for me. I get up from my desk at about 2:30 for my lunch break. What the fuck?

I see Male Boss in the sitting room knocked the fuck out. I never heard him come back in to the house. There's no way he never left to that appointment... In comes Female Boss. She sees him sleeping.

She starts off with a roll of the eyes and a mutter under her breath, "Unbelievable..." then lowers the boom, "Hey jackass! Client called me asking where the fuck you were!"

"Oh fuck!" Male Boss is startled and clearly has no clue what the hell he is doing.

"Yeah, 'oh fuck' is right. You better think up a better excuse than that shit as you go in there three hours late. I don't know what the hell you are thinking. We land a new client and you treat him like shit."

The whole time Male Boss is in a daze. He's looking up blankly at her from the couch trying to focus. He starts to rub his eyes.

"Well get your lazy ass up! They are still waiting for you!"

"Fuck you, you're wasting my time! Listening to your shit. I have shit coming out of my ears!"

Male Boss forces himself to his feet. He stumbles around like a drunk, bouncing himself off the couch with his hand a couple times before gaining balance.

"I'm getting the fuck outta here," and out the door he goes.

Wow..

Male Boss on a Roll

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Male Boss has been the savior of my day. Sometimes, like most people, I am not feeling it.. one of those days where you just have the blues. I'd be a fool to look for any resolution in this flophouse that is God's greatest joke on me, so I don't bother. However, even God has His sense of humor when it comes to this place and He delivered me one, very pissed off, Male Boss.

He came out of no where with his rant switch taped to "on."

"These mother fuckers don't know who they fuck with. Fucking assholes is what they are. They don't think I know a thing!"

I have no clue what he is talking about. I am not gonna ask him. I am just gonna let him vent.

"Send me all the way to that shit and then don't have the papers we needed! Assholes wasting my fucking time."

The phone rings. Its for Male Boss. I look up toward the heavens and wink.

"Hey, Male Boss.. its Client."

"Good! I want to talk to that mother fucker!"

The best is how Male Boss answers the phone. Almost every single time he does pick it up he says hello, almost like saying "yellow" but with the h in front and a very oddly exaggerated o sound at the end. He answers the phone like this even tho he is literally stewing in his own juices. Its rather jovial really.. it takes the edge off.. kinda like how you'd want a spokeshole for a politician to answer the phone right before you tell them how stupid they are. Take your Coke and a smile and fuck off is what I say.

Male Boss doesn't even need my advice to tell em to fuck off, he switches to rampage mode all by himself.. good man. Most of what he says I unfortunately couldn't write down cuz I got another phone call while he was digging into this poor boob. Here's the stuff I do remember and wrote down.

"No, no, no! It cannot work like this! The things don't work that way! I drive in traffic for your guys and nothing!? Now I have clients calling asking for the documentation! What do I do? Huh!?"

Then the question of the century was asked.

"Yes, they calling me and I have nothing to give them! You tell me what you think, you think I am Santa Clause don't you!?"

I nearly fell backwards. Male Boss slams the phone down not giving the clown a chance to answer. I woulda loved to see where that was gonna go but what the hey I'll take what I can get. So after a few moments Male Boss addresses me in a soothing voice.

"Well Northe, what can I do? Sometimes you're the statue and other times you're the pigeon."

Someone put that phrase on a t-shirt or in a time capsule cuz its fuckin perfect.

Coffee Talk

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

I have a feeling that I have mentioned this before on Angry Time; however, I have neither the gumption to look it up nor the long-term memory to recall how in depth I got into this particular behavior of Male Boss.. Coffee Days for Male Boss. Its filthy.. and I'm not just talking about the hot, filthy, bean water part of it all. I am talking about the ritual. Whenever this clod feels like making some coffee he doesn't go for the coffee maker, nay! He goes for this fuckin crazy ass contraption. I guess its his wannabe turkish side comin' out. Who knows. I don't pretend to understand this beverage nor do I give two shits, I'm just here to share. Cuz its one thing for you turtle neck wearing, iMac fruitcups to go for your $5 cup of fuckin bean water but its another thing to heat up your mud cocktail in one of those absurd looking, ornate, turkish coffee pots (thats hand painted like this by the way!) it just becomes embarrassing. You want a fuckin doily with that, you priss? Is a regular coffee pot not good enuff for you? Is Krups not up to your standards on pouring hot water over your granules? Is the coffee that much different tasting brewed in some wannabe 18th century vase? Jeezus christ you people piss me off..

So whenever he wants his fill of caffeine laden, brown slurry, Male Boss goes through this ritual every single time. Every.. single.. time.. and realize, its not so much the process of brewing the coffee in that Barbie-time coffee maker thingamajig that's the problem its what happens in the process of brewing it. There is no exception. I suppose its part of his coffee making experience. All I know is that he sets himself up for failure consistently. Once he starts the brewing he'll head into the office area or start watching TV in the sitting room. Either way, he forgets about the coffee. This is what I don't get. If I want something, if I going to make something, if I in any way am preparing something for any fucking reason, I remember that I want it! But no, not Male Boss!

For Male boss its brew and brew and brew till the fuckin' thing overflows. Hell, overflow is putting it lightly. The shit cascades down for a good few minutes caking the entire stove in this wretched, dark brown char that requires a chisel to put a dent in. Now let me reiterate. This happens every time this fuck wants a cup of coffee. Trust me, if I had a camera in that mug I'd have pictures of the devastation for you guys. Its flat out disgusting. It smells, its dirty and its just absurd that we have to go thru the same thing several times a week.. fortunately, sometimes only once a week.

Female Boss' reaction to this is complete rage. However, its the same shit. Its the same fuckin speech about how irresponsible he is, how he has his head up his ass and how he needs his mother to clean up after him. On the heels of this grand chastising ritual the other portion of the madness is that Female Boss consistently cleans up after him! She bitches to the high heavens about his stupid ass yet cleans up after him like a whore maid!

Its just dumb. I mean if yer gonna make a ruckus over shit at least pretend like you have a spine and don't clean it up so immediately. Perhaps grab him by his wind pipe and lead him into the kitchen to clean up after his own mess? Nope.. instead its bitch, rinse and repeat... for countless times.. over and over again.

Sidebar: Wouldn't you know it, the week of deciding to post this story the consistency comes to an end. Instead of boiling over his coffee, this time Male Boss totally forgot about the coffee.. for who knows how long. I come in to work at normal time. No one is there.. either they hired a new interior decorator that thought a thin layer of white smoke across the ceiling is the new "in" thing or something is on fire. I rush into the kitchen and his Faberge coffee pot is pumping out more smoke than Krakatoa. No more than 3 seconds after I turn off the stove does Male Boss rush in to the Investment Property from outside.

"Fuck! I forgot the coffee!"

Needless to say the place is completely doused with that smoke-fresh scent. Female Boss was yet to arrive.. she's really gonna love this. Male Boss mentioned she'd likely be coming in sometime after noonish. Makes me want to run down to the store on my lunch break and pick up a few bottles of Febreeze.