Stress Apportioning

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Whenever Female Boss is stressed about something she does her damnedest to make sure that someone else is feeling the same way she is. I touched on this slightly in paragraph two of the first Master of Analogy post. Its her need to seek, then dump and finally, commiserate with someone else bcuz, clearly, it eats away at her brain.. literally and figuratively.. what's left of the acorn size nub anyway.

For the time I have worked here I never really noticed that it is more than just sharing an opinion or feeling on a subject. Its the actual attempt at getting the listener to become as stressed out as she is. For the most part Female Boss only behaves this way when it comes to stress. Disturbingly so, it is a pattern.

It never really struck a chord with me until recently. Being as unamused as I am while at the office, all of her sharing with me reaps nothing but unemotional responses and replies. Before long, I doubt she will ever speak to me about anything aside from work cuz I am not giving her what she wants from a conversation (read as: bitching session). I guess one can always hope.

The conversation happened about a week before today. Female Boss' Friend is planning on going on a cruise for a week. Friend has a cat that Female Boss is fond of. I recall her stress building up since then regarding the matter. A week's worth of conversation on the topic can be summed up with this:

"I just don't think its right for her to leave her cat behind for a full week," she tells me.

"She's taking it to someone's house, leaving it at home or what?" I ask.

"No, she's taking it to a pet motel."

"Oh, that's not bad.. we used to call them kennels in my day," I quip.

"I just think its wrong. I mean so many bad things can happen there. Fleas, ticks.. she could get sick. What if she doesn't eat?"

Female Boss' irrational thought process is fertilized with bullshit that comes out of anyone's mouth that just wants to carry on a conversation with her. I want no part in growing this crap crop, so I hang up my Mantis and enjoy a cup of shut the fuck up. Come on, reap.. fertilize.. crop.. oh the punnery!

Its the day before the trip and talking to me only leaves a dissatisfied taste in Female Boss' mouth. Instead of bothering me further, Female Boss turns to ye olde (with an E) telephone. She calls up Friend to let her know how concerned she is. Before long, Female Boss is describing some of the worst case scenarios that could ever happen at a kennel. I jotted down a few things that she said. The four things she already mentioned before were said along with:

a) What if there's an earthquake?
b) What if there's a fire at the kennel?
c) What if the other animals really don't like your cat?

Let it be known, this conversation was a good 15-20 minutes of Female Boss just harping on this shit to Friend non stop. Every time Friend would come up with some sort of rationalization Female Boss would throw another one on the table in hopes to drag her down into her morose. Then, like storm clouds suddenly parting, Female Boss tries to hem everything up by saying, "I mean I don't want to make you worry while on your trip, I am sure the cruise will be a blast."

Gee, thanks. Fill my head with bombastic, horrifying scenarios for my pet but yeah, I'll have a great fucking time on my trip! No worries at all! Thanks for the concern and making sure I know how my animal could possibly suffer while I eat my weight in shellfish! Thanks tons.. whore..