Showing Off the Dogs

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Its really harrowing how these dogs just aren't trained. I mean come on, The One is an everyday candidate for the Dr. Phil show; Hannibal Lecter could be hired to make Pigfoot become a more rational animal and as for Puppy.. well, she just needs a trip to Oz where she can hopefully pick up an essential organ for her noggin. As everyday goes by they become more and more comfortable with their unacceptable behavior (ie. this, this and this to name a few of the many written and to come).

For lack of a better word, it all just sucks. Dogs shouldn't be this dumb. They crave boundaries, knowledge and pleasing their masters. A little perspective on where I'm coming from and why it irks me so badly is bcuz every dog that I have had has been incredible. They were all trained, obedient and just awesome pets. Those that know me know this to be true and for the most part every dog that anyone I have known, until now, has been fine if not outstanding. Its like seeing all the incredible talent in the NFL yet someone like Vinnie Testaverde still gets playing time. Its a fuckin travesty.

The worst part is that Female Boss pretends like she doesn't care but deep down she does, yet refuses to do anything about it. She wants the dogs to behave and be good and smart but does jack shit about it. How you can have the intent but not the drive to do something is beyond me.

Here's the story. A neighbor came into the house the other day, out of the blue, for reasons unknown to me. Female Boss takes this opportunity to show off the animals to Neighbor. The exhibition starts off with testing Neighbor's tolerance to withstand 100 decibels for an extended period of time (read as: all dogs and Demonseed going apeshit).

Once they die down, Female Boss lets out Puppy. I figure I am getting ready to see Puppy clamp on a finger, I am wrong. Instead, Female Boss wants to show off how intelligent Puppy is, "She's really, really bright. Watch."

My face twists on impact of the lie hitting my eardrums. Female Boss sets down Puppy and Puppy starts running all over the place in spastic fashion. Female Boss is snapping her finger and whistling for her. Puppy is dashing to and fro not paying any attention to whatever the hell it is that Female Boss thinks she is doing.

"She's just a little excited bcuz you're new here," comments Female Boss with a smile.

Female Boss regains her composure and shouts, "Puppy, come!"

Puppy comes over to me for petting. I pick up the poor canine and hand her to Female Boss. The curtain is drawn again, take two. Female Boss sets Puppy down on the ground. Puppy seems a bit more attentive. Alright, maybe she does have something up her sleeve, I think to myself. Female Boss takes a few steps back.

"Puppy, come!" commands Female Boss.

Puppy gets up and walks away from her.

"Stop! Puppy, stop! Come!"

Puppy looks back at Female Boss.

Female Boss smiles at Neighbor quickly and goes back to her display, "Puppy, come!"

Puppy makes a mad dash toward Female Boss but goes well past her back into the office where I am.

"No! Come! Puppy, come!"

Puppy goes into the sitting room and hops on the couch.

"Stop! Come! Argh, she's usually so good." Female Boss lets out a whimper, "Pupppyyyy."

Neighbor loses interest and walks toward the kitchen, "You mind if I grab a glass of water?"

It really is pathetic. I feel bad but then again I really don't. You embarrassed yourself in front of your neighbor bcuz you didn't train your dog. Where Female Boss comes off thinking that the dog knows english is beyond me. Not once have I ever seen her practice commands with any of the dogs, yet she expects some miracle to happen just cuz she wants to look like a good owner. You fucked up, not the dog, you.