A Little Late For Thanksgiving Posts

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

I dropped the ball on this one. I was supposed to get this one to you back last year right after Thanksgiving. The problem is with such a list of Angry Times to write up it got lost in the mix.. my apologies..

So for the sake of this post, I need you guys to put yourself back in the times of full bellies, dousing your sleeping grandmother with the cold, coagulated and gelatinous remains of what's left in the gravy boat and swapping stories of hornswaggling the local native american down the street for ol' times sake.. ok, we there yet? Good.

Female Boss was on the phone with her brother waxing fancy pants knowledge and some such.. it went a little something like this..

"Well, it really is doom and gloom out here. You should see the way they are advertising! The economy is tanking!"

Preparing myself for the knowledge to drop, I stroke my index finger and thumb across my chin.

"Well, yeah! I mean this year they are starting things up the day after Thanksgiving! Like, EARLY. MORNING. SALES!"

Like many of my fellow Americans, Female Boss knows that the pulse of the fragile American economy relies on retail marketing ideas and trends. Furthermore, the financial desperation of the average American is directly related to the time sales, especially those of the post-Thanksgiving variety, start in the a.m.. Compound that with the fact that Female Boss has apparently never heard of "Black Friday" or "The Christmas Shopping Season" and we are ripe for the next Great Depression. If Greenspan was still in charge he'd have pointed that out weeks in advance.. why Bernanke didn't have the stones to give us fair warning is beyond me..

"Well, yeah. It gets worse! They are starting to talk about these other sales now. Like One-Day and Two-Day sales.. they're getting desperate out there."

One and two day sales? Whatever happened to the honest lunchtime sales of yore!? These stores might as well join ranks with the professional beggars and cut their losses! Truthfully tho, this makes me wonder what exactly the reaction of her brother is during this conversation. I know him to be of marginal intelligence at the very worst, so what could be going on in his mind during this philosophical rant by Female Boss? Whatever he is or isn't doing is only making her continue..

"This isn't good. I for one haven't seen anything like it. Have you? I mean, all these gimmicks to get people in to the stores.. I really don't like it."

What sucks is I didn't get to hear how the conversation ended as I had to take a phone call but the bottom line is something is definitely up. I used to believe the last thing businesses wanted out of the population was to reap some sort of financial gain from us.. but now, with the points Female Boss has raised I am starting to think otherwise. Think about it, were I not to listen to Female Boss' phone call I might have fallen prey to their scandalous ways rather than put my money under the mattress! Needless to say, her words got around fast enuff to stop the country from going into financial meltdown but I will keep you all informed if any further insightful forecasting is brought to light much, much earlier next time..