Let's Talk About Mars

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Aside from the fact that you people are the dumbest ever listening to the hype over the Mars, guess what else you stupid fucks? Just bcuz being 2 miles closer than its ever been, and the heap of dung that the internet tried to tell you that Mars is gonna be the size of the fuckin moon, doesn't mean shit. Now I know my Angry Timers aren't that fuckin stupid to believe that shit are you? Idiots. I bet a shit ton of you thought you were gonna see it. Even tho for the lead up weeks there was NO visible sign of it. Yeah.. that makes sense you titmouse. Cuz whenever things travel they appear instantly! Jeezus christ you idiots piss me off. The level of stupidity is off the charts. However, I will offer you some hope, cuz Female Boss has one-upped the shit outta all you with her latest in bout of stupidity.

Here's the conversation damn near word for word that I had with her a few days back:

Female Boss starts it off, "I think this whole Mars thing plays havoc on people's brain."

I lift my head up using the strength of my eyeballs. You know what I'm talking about.. when you are so fed up with life that you can just roll your eyes up into the back of your head and your chin follows suit. Try it if you don't believe me, shit head.

"How?" I ask, opening the mental retardation satchel that would be most equivalent to what we know as Pandora's Box.

"I don't know."

So not only has Female Boss evolved to the point where she can answer a follow up question without exhausting her entire body in the process but her insight is just unbelievable. Taken aback by such powerful words I slink back into my work.. thinking to myself Please, shut up. Please, shut up. Please, shut up.

"Maybe it depresses people."

The more and more time I spend here the more I feel like Female Boss works for the media. Her laziness and ability to say shit that no one gives a fuck about is astonishing. She really has a gift that mainly members of the media are blessed with. Irrelevant discussion coupled with mindless drivel. This conversation is only doomed to get better.

"I mean look at all the things that happened in the last two weeks with the hurricanes and stuff."

Two completely different thoughts that have nothing to do with each other and I imagine that she confused hurricanes for tornadoes considering thats pretty much whats been in the news. Unless she is that dumb. Hmm, ok. After further review, its a coin flip, so get it over with and move on. Then the hobo ramblings begin..

"Thing is everyone is acting really strange."

Oh, really? I haven't noticed, you whore! Unless you're talking about people going out of their way to waste my fucking time with mindless conversation! That must be what you're talking about..

"Shouldn't NASA be telling us? I mean, they can detect waves of energy. I'm pretty sure they can measure it."

Hoping to end the stupidity from impregnating me I just concur with her.

"Yeah, I'd imagine they can."

Measuring the waves of energy that depress people! NASA is much further advanced than I thought! The problem is that they aren't telling us. Those erudite fucks!! I hope Female Boss really follows up on this breaking story.. and then shares with me her findings...