Hollaback!

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Its another normal day. Female Boss is out in the sitting room on the black patent leather couch taking in a little MTV. Come to think of it, I don't think it was MTV cuz music videos were actually on. Parumph! Nevertheless, this is what Female Boss is doing. A song ends and then comes Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl." I am indifferent to the song, I can listen to it and I couldn't care less about it. Most of you know how I feel about most music today and if you don't click on my profile, you idiot. When the title of the song appears on the screen, Female Boss says, "Ohhhh, Gwen Stefani. I love her!"

She's kinda diggin' the song at first, but once the chorus plays Female Boss asks, "Hollaback Girl? What's that? Do you know what that is?"

Answering questions for Female Boss prevents critical thinking, so I say, "No" in order to provoke said critical thinking. Its a tedious regiment but it is the only way I can force the Hand of Idiocy to touch Female Boss on the forehead so consistently. As we all learned from the example of Pavlov's dog, it works. Female Boss begins probing deep within her mind, "Hmm, I don't know, seems like Gwen is losing her luster."

"How's that?" I ask.

"Have you seen this video? She is rolling in gangster cars and talking about Hollaback. I don't know what that means but I don't like it."

I take a peek over my shoulder and see her sneering at the television with her arms crossed, "You know, I thought she was one of the more talented up and coming new artists. Now I just don't know. I can't watch this, its depressing me."

Female Boss cuts off the TV and comes back into the room. I am not sure if I am more befuddled by her reaction to such an inane song or if I should add Gwen Stefani to my Shit List for bringing Female Boss back into the office when she was firmly planted on the couch. Here's to losing, sirs. Here's to losing.