Master of Analogy

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Tossing in another piece of the jigsaw that is Female Boss for you comes the attribute that she loves a good analogy. In fact, as of late, I would dare to call her the Master of Analogy. How she latches on to a boulder of a concept, uses it sans wit, and pounds the analogy into a fine, fine silt. Repetitiously and without acknowledgment of annoyance and/or irrelevant wonderment that it may cause, Female Boss makes sure you know what exactly is on her mind. Constantly. Over and over.. without tiring.

With the Hurricane Katrina disaster, Female Boss spent a good majority of her time repeating/asking the same questions to just about anyone she gets on the phone with. Making sure people are aware of the disaster, as if its possible to not know. Then starts going through the whole tragic play by play of it all aloud.. which really isn't a big deal, especially with something so serious, but it does get old when you hear it all day long. This is the first step towards stirring her brain cells into a fevered pitch to impress the most insipid people that walk the earth.. them and only them.

As a matter of fact, about a week and change ago we are getting a lot of phone calls and business is taking a welcomed run into the busy category. I thrive in high-pressure, dead-line oriented environments that this business offers. I love it, set em up, knock em down is my attitude. Female Boss.. not so much. When two lines are ringing in the office she falls into berserk mode. Usually the eyes bulge, the sucking on teeth crack the seconds of silence between each phone ring and her stress overwhelms the office. She is even worse when Male Boss is around. So here I sit, within the chaos, the eye of the storm. This day it was pretty bad. Eventually, it came to the point where there were two lines holding for her.

Female Boss lets out a large sigh and tells me, "I feel like I am waiting for the water. Like I can feel the water coming over the levees in New Orleans."

Ask yourself in all seriousness, what do you say to a person that has just told you that.. likening incoming phone calls to a natural disaster? My response, "Line 5 and 8 are holding for you." I think I handled it well.