Female Boss Shorts 4

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Yet another series of shorts for you all.

Scenario #1: Female Boss picks up the phone and starts dialing.

To the person on the phone, frantically, "There's smoke everywhere! Everywhere! Yes! Smoke!"

Female Boss giggles softly to herself, "And white feathers all over!"

Time passes a bit and she starts repeating, still frantic, "On the chicken!"

"On the chicken!"

"Yes, the house is full of smoke!"

Female Boss can't keep up the charade any longer and starts laughing. Apparently, the other person on the line got the joke as much as I did so Female Boss has to explain it, "Yes, remember last night? You told me to cook chicken. Right, well I forgot to pluck the feathers. Get it?"

Would murder in this case be considered self-defense?

Scenario #2: Female Boss is in a good mood. Whenever she is in a good mood I have to focus her energy elsewhere or I inherit the abortion of humor that is to follow. Like everyone else, when you're happy you want to share the happiness. Some people use jokes.. then there's some people who shouldn't.

Female Boss does her best. She tells me, "They said its gonna rain today, check the weather online."

I'm thinking to myself, I coulda swore they said it was gonna be 80 degrees today.

Female Boss watches me open up the browser to check the weather. Yeah, its gonna be 80 degrees. She bursts out in laughter. I guess that's the joke?

Scenario #3: I think Female Boss stayed the night at the Investment Property. I can deduce this by two things. One, there is a shredded magazine in the living room that trails out to the dining room. Two, The One is yelping at the top of his lungs for Female Boss who is apparently in the bedroom.

I am about 15 minutes early to work, so I grab a chair and just watch The One. He's running back and forth across the house in a complete frenzy. All of a sudden, on the tile floors he starts almost limping.. it looks very peculiar. I think The One might have hurt himself.. I don't go to help him. Instead I just watch and thank god I didn't move in on him to see what was wrong. Before I know it a yellow, mustard water slurry of shit comes streaming out of The One's ass.

I vacate to the sanctuary of the office clear from smelling distance. Female Boss picks my exiting as a prime time for her entrance from the bedroom. I would say this wasn't what she expected to walk out to.

"What in the hell!" exclaims Female Boss.

Welcome home.