'Atta Boy, Pigfoot!

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

As of late, Pigfoot has been pretty tired. Most of the days are being passed with excessive naps and inactivity. This blows bcuz it cuts down on potential havoc wreaking and, more importantly, storytime. Nevertheless, we have a new one!

Pigfoot started off the day with his typical hibernation for five hours or so. When he awakes he is vocal and spunky. He is barking and barking to get someone's attention to come let him out of the area they are confined to. I go over and pet him for a few minutes. This satisfies him for only a short while and Pigfoot starts up with the barking again.

Its a 50/50 shot for Female Boss to hear and react to this behavior by Pigfoot. Seems like Pigfoot is on his A Game today, she takes the bait. Female Boss unleashes Pigfoot from his confines and goes forth to usurp the domain. Everything starts out well and good, Pigfoot frolics and plays. I play with him for a short time and return to my work.

Female Boss and I keep to ourselves for what turns out to be too long. After an unknown amount of time, maybe 30-45 min or so, Female Boss gets up from her desk. This first thing that comes out of her mouth is a gasp. I ask her what happened.

"Oh fuck, you did it this time, Pigfoot," she says. Not in a scolding tone, mind you. Never.. I mean, come on..

Pigfoot seems to have a built-in radar, like most pets, as to what would be the worst possible thing to destroy in the house. This time, Pigfoot decided to lay waste to something that didn't belong to Female Boss or Male Boss. I guess, over the weekend, one of their mutual friends came by with their baby/toddler and left some sort of upholstered, stuffed, plush chair. Kind of hard to explain. Doesn't quite look like this, was smaller, had funny bears and balloons on it, but you get the gist.

Pigfoot didn't just take a bite out of it. If this was CSI you would describe it as an abdominal gutting with gaping lacerations across the back. Entrails were strewn about the dining room and trailed off where an entire arm lay in the kitchen. Most of the flesh was torn, if not, missing. If you don't respect the mastery in Pigfoot's work, now would be a good time to start. The most sinister of it all is that it was done in silence. I don't recall hearing a sound, nor does Female Boss. In most circles this would be considered part of the intimidation factor Pigfoot brings to the table. I would tend to agree.

Seems to me Pigfoot is going to set back Female Boss upwards of $50-100 for this episode. Just to reiterate, no punishment, no discipline. As long as this keeps up, Pigfoot will strike again without remorse. Whether or not he will execute this flawlessly again is up to him. Personally, I love it when a plan comes together.