Nothing Like a Monday

Female Boss gets an email from one of our loyal and giving clients that reads, "Check the mailbox before the mailman eats up the goodies inside."

Apparently they dropped off a gift for Female Boss. Male Boss walks in the office promptly at 10:35am in his standard work uniform, matted down hair, sweat pants and a flannel shirt that smells like bad breath and stale smoke.

"Get your ass up to the mailbox, there's a package for us," demands Female Boss to Male Boss.

"What?" responds Male Boss.

"There's a package in the mailbox for us," she repeats.

"Who gives a fuck?"

"Go get the damn mail, its food!"

"Leave me the fuck alone! I want to make breakfast, damn it. I didn't have it at my home."

"Crackers and butter isn't breakfast, go get the mail!"

"You get it."

"Please get it, I will forget if we don't get it now. The mailman is gonna take it and we'll never have received it!"

"God damn it, you are so lazy!"

"Me? Your stomach looks like a pig's!"

"Fuck you, Female Boss. Fucking sick of you. I'm gonna be a good man and do it. Just to shut you the fuck up and I can eat."

Male Boss heads out the door to the mailbox. From our office we have windows that look over the driveway toward the mailbox. As soon as he arrives Female Boss, who is watching him like a hawk, makes this statement, "Damn fuckin' right, food is there and he can't get there quick enuff."

Uh huh, you only had to bitch about it for 5 minutes before you wore him down to go there and basically shut you up so he could eat his crackers and butter in peace.

In the end, the package had a bottle of lotion in it. Everyone loses. I even double-checked the email later that day to confirm that Client used the phrase "before the mailman eats up the goodies" *shrug*