40 Days in a Month

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Oh Female Boss, you are truly a miracle of science. Oh! So one of The Plastic's husbands went under the knife to repair his ticker. The surgery was a success and this fine gentleman is recuperating without any problems thus far. Female Boss followed up bi-weekly with them to keep tabs on any needs they may have had and for her own peace of mind. Good friend, just dumb.

After a conversation with The Plastic, Female Boss hangs up and starts giving me the scoop as if I asked and as if I was at all interested. Hey lady I'm working here, and no I don't care. Sorry, I don't. Fuck you if that's a problem, I have my own shit to deal with. During her insipid monologue, Female Boss does a little flexing of her perception muscles and demonstrates to me how well she understands the Gregorian Calendar.

"Well anyway, he's doing just fine. Which is great news. Hmm, let me see.. he had his surgery on July 19th, right? Annnnnndddd todaaayyyyyy is, ah! August 27th! Wow! Pretty soon it will be a whole month and the man is doing great!"

I drop a condescending, "Yeah, its only been a few weeks."

Like a moronic mackerel (cmon HMT, what ever happened to the Fish Game?), Female Boss takes the bait and swims away with it.

"Well yeah, but it hasn't even been a month yet!"

You know, you'd think that Female Boss might be able to just do some quick arithmetic in her head. Not even arithmetic, you'd think that when she flipped thru her calendar she might have noticed skipping thru like 5 or 6 lines of weeks before speaking. All it would take is counting. Counting! Of course not. Sometimes she makes it too easy to get the type of response I am looking for..