Top Ten Tips - Part I

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Let's talk idiocy and money. No where in the world than in the United States do you see more idiots with shit tons of money. Am I right or am I right? For example, god bless the guy I am about to talk semi-shit about, but this dude was probably a C to D student back in high school, right? Dude is now a multi-millionaire, I'm talkin multi. Now granted he is not an idiot bcuz he lacked school smarts and he's really not that big of an idiot when it comes down to it but I gauranfuckintee you that there are plenty of idiots that he has to deal with that contribute to him making that much cash. He's a friend of mine and I definitely don't hate on him for being successful. Its just pretty crazy when you see life unfold in such a curious way.

Going on, there's just a fuckton of idiots out there.. a bunch of Angry Timers and I were talking about this weekend. Some jackhole sat there and sold that fuckin no-creativity involved website known as MySpace for over a half a billion dollars. Yeah mother fucker, ba-ba-ba-billion! For what? For throwing some jackass code up on the non-existent ether where people can post photos and write messages? Talk about the most basic shit ever. He's not the idiot tho, the idiots are those that pay out that kinda cash am I right? Probably not cuz those fuckin idiots get paid by advertisers who think that being affiliated with what has now become an internet juggernaut will make them rich. Well guess what, it won't you idiots. Or maybe I'm the fuckin idiot. I'll know before I die thats for sure.. meanwhile all the people that I talk shit about surpass me in every aspect of life possible. Isn't that some shit..

So anyways, moving on even further the whole reason I wanted to post this shit is cuz you can make money doing the stupidest fuckin crap in the world. Here's a great example. Since I am plagued with having to use AOL at my work I get to read the most mind numbing articles and headlines that you can imagine during downtime. I read em cuz sometimes there is literally nothing left to do but the question remains.. Why you rejects subscribe to AOL for your internet service is beyond me. You can download Instant Messenger fruits, get a clue! There is nothing else AOL provides for you that you can't get anywhere else and probably done better. So here was the first of two "Top Ten Suggestion" links that I happened to sift thru like a baboon does his own shit:

Top Ten Tips on Cheap Hotel Rates

Now I hope you all can understand why I would click on this. Everyone is looking for a bargain especially come summer time. Its time to get away for a minute and stop sucking in the air that Los Angeles' cappuccino skies offer. Sure my lungs are stronger than yours bcuz of it *cough* but sometimes they need a break.. kinda like Barry Bonds rubbing cream on his body.. come off season maybe you don't need the daily application. So I click this shit hoping that maybe theres some insightful info headed my way. How stupid of me, of course there isn't.. instead its AOL Failed Journalist meets Suze Orman's guide to common sense and third grader logic.

Check this shit. They give you "Top Ten" tips and my only regret is that I didn't take more copious notes including the actual Top Ten for you guys to marvel at and fax to your financial advisors as to why AOL stock is going to triple over these astounding revelations. My bad. So here ya go, time for the gems. I wrote this down first so I imagine it was probably the #1 Tip for Cheap Hotel Rates:

"Shop around for good deals."

I shit you not. So basically from the get you are hit with something that is so half-cocked that not only could a beached whale offer you that advice but its essentially telling you that no answers are within this entire article! Its a cop out! If you'd have said, "call hotels on the third night once the summer solstice has passed" then you'd be giving some fuckin advice that Joe Averagepants wouldn't know about getting a deal on a hotel, but telling me to shop around is worthy of taking an axe to the knee cap, you dumbfuck!

Well hey, I ran a little long in the beginning there with the rant. So let's just end it here as the starting tidbit of what will be a three part series. Part II Next Time!