What of Thine Pig!?

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Oh guys. I know I have been dished a few in-mails as of late to get some info regarding said pig from before, Sir Dunkirt. Again, hiatus and laziness has delayed some great stories regarding this new unknown at the office. So what better way to get the show on the road than diving right in? So let's do exactly that.

Lemme give you some Dunkirt specs for those too lazy to read the above link in detail. Currently he is about the length of 1 and a half footballs and shaped very similarly. He's a little guy. His skin is soft as shit and he loves playing! Its just the best ever. Remember this is time lapse delayed guys. I have a good dozen stories to catch up on that have happened in the last 5 months so he will develop and grow before your very eyes here on Angry Time.

One of the first days after taking on this pig, Dunkirt, wouldn't you know it we have some supreme jealousy forming at every end of this frikkin place. Male and Female Boss both decided that they trade off evenings with Dunkirt until he is grown enuff to stay "more permanently" at the Investment Property. I would imagine this guy is gonna get pretty frikkin big considering he's literally a feed hog or some shit. Let's not worry about that now and just talk about the scenario.

Female Boss thought it would be a good idea to let Dunkirt meet the dogs. He isn't that big but the guy weighs a good amount, he's also pretty strong and quick. So the first thing Female Boss does, guided by the hand of stupidity itself, is drops Dunkirt down at her feet with all the dogs around her jumping up and barking. If you have never witnessed an orchestrated descending of predator upon prey this would have been a great scene for you to see. All three dogs just go apeshit on this poor guy.

Sidebar: If you have never heard a pig squeal and I mean squeal, prepare your eardrums cuz that shit is insanely loud.

I think Pigfoot clamped on to his back leg while The One just went for the face. Puppy for some reason was using her front paws to pummel him. I guess its kinda like the friend that doesn't ever throw down with the boys when shit is rough and rugged but will throw some phantom punches when the fight is in your favor so at the end of it all he can pretend like he did something. So Female Boss is screaming her ass off. I kicked Pigfoot pretty damn hard to get him off Dunkirt and then scooped him up off the ground away from The One's biting and Puppy's forceful patting.

Poor Dunkirt was wriggling like a maggot in my grip but I was able to hold onto him and get him into the kitchen sink to run some water on him. Amazingly he calmed down pretty quickly. He had several cuts and what not but he's a tuff mofo. Pigs are pretty solid animals, so it didn't take him too long to get back into the swing of things. I'm trying to think back, I think this was within the first week of having him. So from the start, poor Dunkirt is forced to fit right into this madness. Its a shame he is being raised by a pair of idiots.