Top Ten Tips - Part II

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Sidebar: This is a continuation of yesterday's post so either scroll down or click the corresponding date on the right side bar.

Just as I ready myself for some real information I am hit with slogan after slogan and catchphrase after mindless babble resulting in nothing but what a family of cockroaches would consider relevant communication. Some quotable phrases that caught my eye in the article are as follows:

"Call in advance"

Well there's a fuckin doozy! Who'da thunk of that brilliant one. More importantly, what would possess the writer of this masterpiece to share such astounding and priceless information with mere mortals!? Why not put the fuckin gem in a vacuum tube and launch it out to space in the hopes that an ultra-intelligent invader will come across it and spare our pathetic existence by offering them something they could have never thought of on their own!? Fuck! You fuckin nitwit! It gets better!

"Don't stay at a 5 star hotel on a 2 star budget, find diamonds in the rough instead!"

So basically what this jackass is telling you is not a tip on getting cheap hotel rates! Its worthy of some shit you might hear a hobo muttering to himself as he tries to figure out which hole his finger smells like most today! The fact that this shit is even a published column is sickening to me. It makes my blood boil that someone actually either 1) contracted the hotel bargain sleuth of all time to write a one time piece that will shatter all previous "Ten Tips on Cheap Hotel Rates" lists the world has ever seen or 2) someone actually thought this clod was bright enuff to hire and pay a salary so they can, and I use the word loosely, earn a living and continue to survive in this world rather than letting him starve on the street as he should! Pick your fuckin poison. Either way, if you didn't get the job over this idiot I hope you died long ago. Oh, moving on.

"Ask if there are any special promotions coming up."

Wait wait wait. So lemme get this straight here. When I am on a quest to find cheap hotel rates I should actually communicate that to the person from the hotel so that they can better serve my needs!? Why, that's just fuckin crazy talk! Why on earth would anyone want to speak clearly and concisely let alone to another human being that might possibly be in a situation to help you!? Holy lord please someone nominate this fellow to take the throne of the world and get it over with. What a maroon!

Oh and don't worry this series of posts isn't over yet. Part III comes tomorrow cuz I came across that 2nd top ten list that was just enuff to get me to write up this whole daisy and reinvigorate the anger that you people have grown to love. Thanks to the idiots in the world this blog will never die.