First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.
Male Boss and Female Boss have been at it. Rather than trying to filter the shit and get it down to a size that would complement my Boss Warfare style of post I'd rather give it to you complete and uncut. The beauty of these two is that no matter what the verbal exchange is between them, moments if not seconds later, its like nothing happened. Well.. that or they hold grudges for days on end but only during certain times or when certain subject matter is discussed. I really cannot begin to unravel the enigma of idiocy strands in DNA so I'll shut up now and get to the gettin.
It all started with a simple question, albeit a sarcastic question. Male Boss asks Female Boss, "Can I take The One with me back to my apartment?"
A little background, since Male Boss is from some crazy country where he calls his condo an apartment. I don't get it but whatever, his apartment and The One.. sure buddy, it ain't happening. Female Boss starts questioning his intentions with thoughtless crap that I didn't mind writing down. Laziness is unfortunately a factor when it comes to Angry Time, sorry guys you lose there. However, after the third or fourth ridiculous query from Female Boss, Male Boss just starts laughing his ass off at Female Boss cuz he's just fuckin with her and she's too dim to realize it. So what better way to embarrass yourself further than going bananas.. I think that's the gist anyway in this office.
"Oh I see. You are just fucking with my mind, making me actually think that you care about The One when you don't give a flying fuck, right?"
Male Boss just laughs from the sitting room couch like a kid. The flames of embarrassment are yet to char every shred of nobility left in Female Boss so she continues on her mission of torching herself. This time stepping the anger up with a little bit of the rattling voice you get when adrenaline surges thru your system right before you slam that pick axe into your foe's forehead.
"Oh you're so funny, Male Boss. I see how you love to fuck with me and aggravate me. You think you're so bright and funny. Well guess what? You're an asshole. It's not funny and no one is laughing. Asshole, that's all you are. An asshole."
Male Boss starts to take offense. I mean why not stoop down to the same level as Female Boss, right? No one is here besides Northe and he ain't telling anyone shit. Indeed.. continue.
"Sorry I like to rape you Female Boss. I like to rape you from time to time and I love it. Its your dumb dog anyway, he can't be without you. You fucked up with him and he can't help but be a pussy. So don't worry, you keep your dog and I keep my sanity."
There are times in life when things just happen at the perfect time to drive the point home without saying another word. This happened to be one of those times as The One started crying like a hyena pup searching for his mother's teet.
"See look. Listen to him. Stupid fucking dog you has," says Male Boss.
Male Boss didn't need to say it but he did. It kinda just put the exclamation point on the end of the sentence as if to let her know that her idiocy has fostered a crazy dog. A dog that is so screwed in the head that he can hardly function without an umbilical cord. Must suck. For us tho, we reap the benefits.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Another Tongue Lashing
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4 comments:
Its your dumb dog anyway, he can't be without you. You fucked up with him and he can't help but be a pussy.
The thundering power of this truth is to be held in awe. This speaks of a much deeper understanding of the ways of the world than I earlier gave MB credit for. This is truly the purest distilation of the universal truth of Cause and Effect.
My brother had a similar discussion with a cousin lately. His adopted son said to him in an argument, "I'm the way I am because of how you and [his wife] raised me!" And he was bitching at my brother about how he couldn't believe the kid insulted him like that when my brother laid the smack down. "He IS the way he is because of how he was raised. You are the way you are because of how you were raised. I'm the way I am because of how I was raised. Hell, you should be asking yourself why you think that was an insult. My father would consider it a statement of respect."
Does he use the "r" word with people he doesn't know too? Cuz that would be funny!
Not really with ppl he doesn't know but he'll say it in casual conversation on the regular. I guess its alarming how often he uses the word but since its not in context it really doesn't phase me anymore.
And yeah Phelps, most ppl would consider that a sign of respect. I guess when the point is raised its at that moment that you know you have been living your life honestly based on your reaction. If you feel insulted or attacked you might wanna rethink the way you handle yourself.
that's the best point here... it's all the way you react to things, not the things that HAPPEN to you.
everything is in a state of management at all times. just don't lose it.
Northe, I had a dream last night that sensei clause caught us stealing sparring gloves from his dojo last night - what does that mean?
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