A Finer Moment

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Sorry for the late evening post. I didn't get a chance to write shit all week. If you understood how busy I was this week you'd pretend to empathize with me.. its a good one tho, enjoy it.

I remember this one time, when I first started at this gig. Back when I had to cannibalize those around me so I could put food on the table. You know, back in these days.

Well, lemme backtrack a bit. Before I had the current job that I hold here, there was the whole ascension thing I had to go thru. This is another of the many steps I had to take to ensure my right to the throne. This particular tale has to do with my ability to grind down one's soul to dust over a short period of time. My target was this fooligan of a girl.. jeezus.. how am I gonna describe this whore? Well lets make it easy and just go ahead and call her Whore. Very well then. So, Whore landed a job in the office before I did. Not by much, maybe by a couple months. I think the whole recent hirings deal had to do with a few of their long time employees decided to up and leave so we became their replacements.

Moving right along.. after Female Boss introduced me to my new co-worker, my eyes perked up. Something interesting about myself is that kinda like how a dog can sense someone's fear, I can sense someone's stupidity. To be blunt, this clownass is off the charts dim. On top of that I have this tendency to pick on those with a low self-esteem. Whore happens to have one of those too. After further review I can tell that she's one of those unattractive office temptresses that bats her doe eyes and begs for help getting whatever she wants thanks to the jelly-spined males I am ashamed to be associated with. You know who you are, you fools. Try getting some standards. You hear me? Ugly is not a standard either so stop letting yourself off the hook. Just cuz a girl thinks she's fine or acts like she's attractive on any level doesn't make you slick if she talks to you. You're ripe for shit talking if you pull it around me. Step up your game. Challenge yourself!

Once I've taken note that Whore is bathed with a triple dose of "Put me out of my misery, Northe," l deem, as king, that this job isn't right for her. Basically having to share the same air space with someone so unproductive and whiney assists me in arriving at my executive decision. Whore now becomes a target of my malice. Like any good flayer of flesh, I coerce Whore into my confidence. Such tactics may include speaking down to them as a of show superiority but with a smile to give your average pigeon, whose diet likely consists of heaping portions shit-faced grins, something to be distracted with while taking the verbal beating. Once your mark is softened up, depending on the degree of stubborness this may take a few days to a week, you start with the gossip.

Being in many business politic situations, I can tell you that there's nothing more the bottom feeders of the office crave more than gossip. What's more is that when you give them a "head's up" on a suspicion that you are "having" that "directly affects them" you'll be "idolized" before "you" know "it." With the tenacity of a dung beetle I start shuttling mounds of bullshit her way on a quarterly basis. Quarterly meaning four times a day. Usually start off in the morning with what I like to call an eye opener. Around lunch time you wanna smack em with some heavy conspiracies and at the close the day.. say when you're walking to your cars or if you leave earlier than them, a gentle whisper over their shoulder planting a seed for the morrow.

Let me tell you my idea then. Basically it was my intention to pit Whore against Female Boss. Knowing that women are absolutely crazy (men are stupid, girls are crazy.. more on this another time). Let's face facts here, this is hardly a challenge for me; however, I would introduce the fact that even someone as skilled as Vasili Zaitsev would enjoy taking a magnifying glass to an ant on a hot summer day.

So let's go over what a typical onslaught from me to Whore would look like on one of the few short days it took me to win over her mind, shall we?

Eye Opener: "Was Female Boss kind of a jerk to you this morning too?"

Your Angry Time Explanation: Reason being is that a typical morning employee isn't very alert upon entry to the office. Most mornings consist of waking up and complaining about their life till they park themselves in their seat and work on their chair-ass. Forcing the mark to second guess one's recollection, as I have shown here, helps bring awareness to any unfavorable treatment. Focus the mind of your guinea pig to only see the negative.

Lunch Time Folly: "Female Boss was kinda bitching about some work you had done. Did she make any mention of it to you?

*The answer is most certainly no.

Your Angry Time Explanation: You can be assured of this playing out bcuz you made it up. How could the answer be yes to something that never happened? All that is left to do is steer the conversation toward how much work has been taxing your brain. You know, doom and gloom it. This is sure to get the depression to surface if not bubble over.

Follow Up: Before lunch is over, go ahead and reassure your target.

"Bah. Anyway. I think I'm just venting. Female Boss isn't that bad. I'm sure its nothing."

Your Angry Time Explanation: Cuz when you've started, you might as well have a good deal of fun while you're at it. Plus, downplaying such a serious conversation to be something irrelevant will help propel the zero to insanity that much quicker. If you wish to toy with your prey for a longer period of time, feel free to ignore this step.

End of Day Closer: Go ahead and explore any whim that you may have. One that I always found to be trustworthy was, "We're free till tomorrow. Then, it begins again.. should be better tomorrow tho." Shit-faced grin, wave.. walk away.

Your Angry Time Explanation: The goal here is to make them dread work. Remember, keep your eye on the prize. My goal is to cannibalize her position. I am following that path. Whatever your goal may be, manipulation, getting the mark to hate you, suicide.. the key is to never stray too far from what you wish to ultimately accomplish. Lack discipline and you will compromise your mission.

Several days into the hazing, Whore is a basket case. With some helpful mood swings by Female Boss, Whore does not know up from down. Whore is certain that Female Boss hates her and the pressure is really beginning to mount. Without further detail I will have you know that she crumbled in about a week's time.

My favorite was the day before the morning she called in to the office to quit she was stewing at her desk. In Whore's frantic state she was fidgeting noticeably. Now you have to get the finality of the story in context, we are essentially in a house, we work out of one.. doesn't matter that its techinically an office. The place we work in is a home and you really do feel that comfortable.. but not Whore. Poor thing. She musters up the courage finally and this was probably one of her last phrases ever uttered at the office. It went like this:

"Umm, Female Boss?"

"Yes?"

"Umm, do you mind if I get up to grab a glass of water?"

Realize how strong the fear had gripped her. When was the last time you asked anyone permission to drink anything? Whore was broken down to dust and jelly. No courage, no confidence, no gumption. Like I said, she quit the next day. Not in person either, she phoned in and said she would no longer be attending work here. We mailed Whore's final check that afternoon.