Easy To Confuse 'Em

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Female Boss is on the phone with a Client. Like any normal conversation, that even the most casual of my loyal Angry Time following would imagine, Female Boss makes no exception for a business conversation and turns it into complete and utter preposterous levels. It went a little something like this...

We'll just go ahead and begin at the part where Female Boss is taking the turn to personal conversation and talking about the area we live in. Client located about two hours from us isn't all too familiar with the area, so Female Boss decides to shed some light on the situation, "Yeah, you know, we live in a pretty friendly neighborhood."

At this point I imagine Client is commenting back but Female Boss interrupts the conversation, "No, no wait.. we live in a friendly neighborhood. Right? (Repeating herself much slower now with a deeper and dumber accent) We live in a friendly neighborhood."

I have no clue what the fuck she is doing, the best part is she doesn't stop. Still speaking in that slow, dumb voice, "Everyone wants to live in a friendly neighborhood. Don't you want to live in a friendly neighborhood?"

After a while Female Boss is laughing so hard she can't continue. Between breaths and giggling she starts letting out huge sighs.. at one point I swear I saw her take a tissue to the corner of her eye. I have no clue what the fuck her deal is. The worst thing about someone who isn't funny is when that someone thinks they are funny. Makes the idea of suspension less freakish and possibly more of a solution.

Female Boss catches her breath, "Haha, oh I'm sorry. Oh, hahaha. Its just that it sounds like Mr. Simmons or whatever."

What the fuck? Who the fuck is Mr. Simmons?

"Or Mr. Richards, whatever his name is. How he talks about his friendly neighborhood and all."

Did she just think that Richard Simmons was Mr. Rogers or, better yet, what the fuck is she talking about? I don't even know if Mr. Rogers is the person she is thinking about but its the only damn person I can think of that would talk about the value of being surrounded by friendly neighbors. I can see that as being the leap she made. I mean its easy to confuse 'em isn't it? Chances are she is no where near being on target with anything so who knows at this point if the reference is not just some made up crap floating around in her noggin. So fuckin dumb. Who the fuck knows. What I do know is that she has turned off Client so much that conversation ends and she hangs up all but 15 seconds after her last statement. Well done.

As she hangs up the phone Female Boss starts up again, "Damn it. I just remembered the guy's name. I feel like such an idiot. Its Mr. Wills! Duh!"

What!? I immediately did a search on what the fuck Mr. Wills is and unfortunately, I am pretty sure Female Boss is mistaken yet again. Shocking, I know, that a mind as capable as hers isn't able to fish up an accurate memory. However, I did narrow it down to Mr. Bill as being a television character too. I must admit tho, I have limited knowledge of this character. Chances are this clay, Saturday Night Live humanoid spends his time coercing Pokey to get him in good with that flexible Gumby chap. Anywho, if any of you can verify that maybe Female Boss was thinking of this guy, if he ever talks about his neighborhood, that would be great. If not, I'll be punishing myself over the realization that I just spent my valuable time trying to make sense of what goes on in that lady's head. I'm losing the war, folks.