"This is too important!"

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Apparently before I walked in to work today Male Boss was busy hitting the bottle of Rage-a-hol. He is in no mood for anything, so I just wish him a good morrow and get to crackin' out the crap I gotta get done for the day. Not too long after, Male Boss says he's gonna go visit a client or two and earn a little face time. Female Boss walks in around the same time he is leaving. They don't say too much to each other and all is right in the world of Angry Time.

A couple hours later of nothing exciting to report, Female Boss gets on the line with a Plastic. Just then, the phones start ringing.. of course. There's no other time that they would ring other than when Female Boss is on the phone with her friend, read as: she ain't helping me. So I start doing hold management and whatever I gotta do to get these chair moisteners off the lines.

Of course in the middle of this shit storm, Male Boss starts calling. I answer it, he wants to speak with Female Boss. I put him on hold and inform Female Boss that Male Boss is on the line and get back to the other idiots on the phone.

A good minute falls off the clock and the phones aren't letting up. The next one I answer is Male Boss again.

"Where the fuck is she? What the fuck is going on?"

I tell him that I told her that he was on the line, tell him to hold on and tell Female Boss that he's waiting for her to pickup again.

As the phones are slowing down a bit, I notice that Female Boss hasn't grabbed the line, so I preempt Male Boss' inevitable phone call that will be filled with screams and profanity.

"Hey, Male Boss, she's on the line.. you want me to have her call you back?"

"No way. Put her on the fucking line, this shit can't wait."

I feel like knocking Female Boss' teeth out with the receiver, instead I tell her again, "Male Boss is on the line for you, he said he can't wait."

Female Boss isn't having it. I imagine she is in the middle of some gossip or discussing how ol' horseface (or recently gifted to me via a fellow Angry Timer, this one) from Grey's Anatomy is hot or something. The only reason she's on the show, by the fucking way, is cuz stupid ass females have such a fucked sense of what is good looking that they drive her to some sort of status in the realm of attractive. Which makes me fucking puke. Listen idiots, if you think she's hot.. no, not even.. if you think she even lies on the cusp of the outskirts of a good looking female, and you're not a girl, you're fucking retarded. Hell, even if you are a girl you are completely senseless. I want you to hit that link to her ugly mug again. Go ahead, click it and study it for 30 seconds, I'm serious. Study it. Soak in the gross and then click here.

Seriously, aside from a pair of slightly funner cheek waddles, that dude ain't half bad by comparison.. at least that mother fucker can win a bar bet or two by eating a baby whole. I mean come on, what good is that chick? She's repulsive. I'd sooner put that dress on that thing from Pan's Labyrinth and dine on some fairies or clean this frog's spitoon for a week than slap that lady across her whore mouth. Putrid, vile.. okay, enough..

I feel better now. Point is Female Boss doesn't feel like talking to Male Boss and I have to juggle these two buffoons until their brain waves collide into a supernova of inanity. Rather than puss out like and make like a slug, I give it another go.

"Hey Female Boss, he's pissed. You should probably grab the line."

"This is too important! Tell him that he can fuck himself and I'll call him after."

I go back to Male Boss and tell him not exactly as much but he gets the point. Male Boss is pissed. He calls me back not even 15 seconds later and says, "I am coming back to the office, I'm gonna kill her."

I grin and wait. What's this? The phones have died again. Sweet, time to get back to my work and.. what the fuck? The first line I catch from Female Boss' important conversation is:

"... so it lays on its egg the entire time. It doesn't even get up to eat!"

Now before we grab the torches and pitchforks I think you all need to look at this from a different angle. You see, Female Boss learned something and like any adolescent mind, she wants to let others know she too can learn. Sharing is an evolutionary step in the right direction for this young mind. Well done, Female Boss. You not only absorbed information but you passed it along.

However, the beacon of promise didn't burn too long. While Female Boss was still on the line Male Boss comes in the house screaming at her. Apparently, Female Boss passed on a job for a client due to her laziness and didn't bother asking Male Boss if he or The Professional wanted to pick up her slack. I guess the client was so offended that they didn't order anything from us since. Male Boss found out by chance when he went to visit and smoothed things over. Its worth debating tho, which is more important.. making a living and maintaining a business or talking about our avian friends?