A Brush With Death!

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

So I'm driving down the freeway the other day with the windows rolled up and the A/C humming so that my intake of stupidity is pretty minimal. This is a common concern of mine, the inhaling of fumes that people with low IQ have been scientifically proven to emit, but not really like smoke. It is my belief that smoke, smog and the like that our cappuccino skies offer only make my lungs stronger.. but taking in any amount of dumb from ppl, that god knows where they've been, that just creeps me out.

So while driving in my steel cage insulating me from the infection of idiocy around me I get to see some classic smarts at work. I am not a fast driver, I tend to coast around the speed limit or 5mph over, steady as she goes. I am passing a car that if I saw in my kitchen I would have mistaken for an egg.. then it happens.

The truck in front of me, typical mexican immigrant hauling system strapped with about 14 items too many and stacked up about 6 feet higher than a highway underpass, lets fly a plastic bag that was covering some sort of trinket. I am about 200 feet behind this guy and right along side the egg. Plastic bag takes flight and swoops over to the egg's lane. The egg slams its breaks, I kid you not. We went from neck and neck to me seeing him in my rear view about 150 feet back in 2-3 secs. The plastic bag found its target and latched on to its prey.

Now I am sure you are thinking that maybe the bag got caught on this fruit's windshield wiper or something. Nope. No. It was caught underneath the front bumper. Now ok, maybe this fuckin idiot got scared and his cat-like reflexes that scream out flight in today's gene pool laden with way too many pussies took over and made this guy fear the plastic bag as if it was a jackknifed 18 wheeler careening across the freeway, but no. The guy continues to slow and slow and slow. Before I know it cars are slowing down behind me and this guy is becoming a speck on my mirror. The egg stayed in sight for about a minute or two and then vanished as I took a slight bank to the right on the freeway.

So no, there was no logical response to this. There was no reactionary prowess to be discussed here. No mental acumen, no cautionary take, not even worthy of a gold star from a kindergarten teacher. This was just 100% retardation. The best part is the jackholes behind me are the ones that pay for this guy's irrational behavior. This is one of the reasons that traffic is so insane. You put a fair amount of stupid ppl on the road and there are gonna be plenty of problems. You put a shit ton of stupid ppl on the road you have the Los Angeles traffic. I don't need to say anymore than that.