Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Aggressive Language?

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Wow, slacking is pretty easy when you put your mind to it. Hell, half putting your mind to it makes a week go buy really quickly. Then I remember the important people, the Angry Timers. So a few bottles of Belvedere later, here I am. Let's get into it, then.

We have the usual office scenario brewing here. Its more or less the middle of the day. We have both Male and Female Boss front and center in the office. Everyone is pecking away at their respective keyboards and things are getting accomplished.

The silence is broken by a request from Female Boss to Male Boss to get an item of work completed for her. Realize that I said for her. Female Boss is asking for a favor from Male Boss. Male Boss huffs and puffs like a brat. This is a ritualistic game for these two. There is much complaining, shouting, sighing and guilt tripping before any ground is made on either end. The tide begins to turn in Female Boss' favor. Male Boss is still reluctant and bitchy. Male Boss whines for a few minutes longer but eventually gives in to Female Boss.

Its obvious that Male Boss did not want to do this for her. Its a task that doesn't take a lot of brain work but its fairly time consuming. There's no real way to get thru it without suffering through some boredom. So, like a good man, he let's it be known that what he did was not only arduous but completed.

"There you go," he sighs. "I am done. I'm gonna get outta here."

"Gee, thank you," responds Female Boss sprinkling a bit of sarcasm around.

"For what!?!? Why you tell me that!?"

I am pretty sure what he meant to say is why are you being such an ass in the way you are saying it, rather than what she said. Then again, maybe not. You can never tell with these two and assumptions only give them more credit than they likely deserve. I'll shut up now and go on.

"Oh stop it. Leave me alone, I have more of those forms to do."

"No you do not! Get the hell out of there. I do them!"

"Why don't you take your ass home instead?"

"Fine! So can you shut the fuck up now!"

The front door closes and Male Boss is gone. Too funny. I mean sure there was sarcasm in her tone but for the reaction to be what it was is just stupid. I don't know how many more times I can say that cuz this isn't stupid or crazy, irrational or insane.. the sad truth is that its normal. For fuck's sake what am I doing here..

2 comments:

HMT said...

.asd.sdaf. perfect 666 post - plenty of angry times, plenty of confusion, 666times the hilarity!

ghost cheers!

Phelps said...

I'm thinking of hiring you to tape Male Boss for me so I can study his speech patterns. See, I'm always worried that one day I'll have to run away and take on a new identity, and I figure the best way to hide would be to convince everyone that there is NO way that someone who talks like that was born and bred in Texas.