First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.
There's only so much a guy can take. This involves Female Boss, Angry Time's brightest star and dimmest bulb. Frustration mounts, angry times are had and the pressure valve is released for you guys to laugh at my plight. Rant on.
Here's one that happens all too frequently that never seems to enrage me any more or any less no matter how often it happens. There is no getting used to or conditioning one's self for certain types of behavior. One thing I can't ever get used to is the idea of using patchouli (fuck hippies) and this Female Boss personality trait.
I don't know about you guys but when I have a request, assignment or task to do at work I don't procrastinate. I don't sit on it, make people wait and rub one out while thinking of holding out on someone as a show of power. I fuckin handle the business at hand and I move on to the next task. Hence, my ability to have cannibalized the pathetic officemates I used to have. Well, Female Boss is the exact opposite. She loves to make people wait.. she loves setting things aside and she absolutely loves telling me to tell clients that she is on an appointment rather than fulfill the obligation.
I don't know where this behavior is learned. I don't know why one would even want to subject others or even their own work ethic to it. Get the fucking job done. Don't be a prick for the sake of being a prick when it comes to business. This happens all the time. From 8am to 5pm.. same shit. Someone calls in first thing in the morning asking for a status report or appointment schedule for a client, I turn and ask Female Boss when she can give them an answer, she tells me, I repeat it and then the follow up calls begin.
About 20-30 min after the promised time, Client starts calling in asking where the item needed is. The game continues to be played. I have to lie to Client and/or pressure Female Boss.. usually both, several times in the course of the day. The reason it pisses me off so fucking much is bcuz I am caught in the middle of the bullshit. I don't like associating with incompetence.. I can rarely withstand the stench of it whilst in the vicinity of it. Keep me the fuck out of it and fork out your own lies. Fuck, man, I'm tellin' ya it starts a fire in the belly.
Oh and then, when I'm at full tilt ready to implode, Female Boss throws gasoline on the fire. Like this shit, just the other day. Its worth its own post.. not even a Female Boss Muttering post could do this one justice.
Female Boss, after a day of slacking and IMing looks at her calendar to put all her social event ducks in a row. She stares at it for a minute. Tapping her pen, trying my patience with what I know is a fetus of idiocy growing and ready to breach the lapse of common sense canal:
"How come.. hmm. How come the 11th isn't on this stupid calendar?"
Ever get that craving to use a staple remover as a weapon?
"Where the.. Ohh there it is. Right next to the 10th."
You want a Braveheart quote worth its weight in weapons grade plutonium?
Robert the Bruce to his father, "My hate.. will die.. with you."
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Fuck. Yup. Just Fuck.
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2 comments:
I'm telling you chief. Bring a fish in the cooler and take it to her dome. End of story.
I have learned a form of that behavior as a defense mechanism. I will generally tell someone it takes a lot longer to do something than it really does. That is because I deal with deadlines. Not, as in, "I really want this done by this day." As in, "if we don't file this by this time on this day, our client will lose $18 million."
People get really pushy under those conditions. If I let someone know that I can do a job in two hours, they will expect it in two hours. Every. Single. Time. Regardless of what I have in front of them. Regardless of the other guy who walks in five minutes before wanting two hour service.
So I ask what the deadline is. The good thing about real deadlines being around is that people don't tend to bullshit about them. You'll get two times -- "I want it by Tuesday because we have to file it Wednesday afternoon." That is acceptable. I will return your product in a reasonable time." When they say, "I need this first thing in the morning" and I go into the database and see that it is for a hearing scheduled three weeks from now and they have no explanation of what they need to do with it after I am done to make that deadline, I toss them in the "asshole" pile and I get to it when I get to it.
I've never missed a true deadline. Never. I've missed tons of bullshit deadlines, because they need to learn to give me the real deadline.
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