Best Dream Ever

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

The following took place during a dream told to me and recounted as accurately as possible:

"Northe, are you listening?"

"Yes," I answer without paying much attention to anything that has been said up to this point.

"So then, I appear with my friend Plastic and we're in a grocery store. The ceiling is like 40 feet high and there is a second level above us. Its like one of those old warehouses that uses the upper level for storage. Its really crudely built. Just planks of wood and metal railing. Then, this sinister feeling comes over me. I look up and I see this really mean looking guy pull his pants down and take a shit."

That's probably the precise moment when my ears perked up. I grabbed a pencil and started jotting down notes trying to recall what was said before that. That's about all I can remember.

"Isn't that good luck in a dream?" I ask, figuring that at this point my commentary can only stoke the fire more.

"I don't know, but anyway this guy takes a shit and he reaches down and starts shaping it! I can see him molding it in his hand!"

"Like clay?" I ask.

"I guess, but he was shaping it quickly. And I couldn't see it really but I knew in my mind that he was shaping the ball of shit into a fist! But a fist with the middle finger sticking up, like an 'F you' fist!"

Now I'm starting to laugh.

"Then that feeling that I got when I looked up gets worse. I know he wants to hurt Plastic but I can't do anything. I am trying to tell her to watch out but I can't, all I can do is watch this guy up there. I couldn't get my eyes off him. Then, I get a sinking feeling. I see the guy stretch back. I see that he's gonna throw it at Plastic! The thing is, when he threw it he was trying to hit her but he hit me instead!"

"That has to be good luck!" I barely get out cuz I'm laughing so hard.

"It wasn't funny! He threw the shit so hard! It hit me in the leg and it broke the skin! I started to bleed out of the wound!"

Its hard to breathe laughing as hard as I was.

"Everyone in the grocery store seemed to know what to do at this point. They brought me a bottle of peroxide so I could clean the wound and when I was doing that I could see the shit giving me the 'F you' and no one wanted to touch it. So the thing is just pointed right at me the whole time! So, the end of the dream I finally was able to look back up at the guy who threw the shit and at first it was my dad then it turned into Male Boss. But it wasn't my dad or Male Boss when the dream first started, it was some guy with glasses or something. Then, Male Boss ran away after he smiled at me. What do you think that means?"

*dead*