Female Boss Shorts 10

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Jeez, over the last few days I have really been dumping out the Female Boss Shorts. I will have another update with another set of stories before the week is up too. She just never has a dull week. No one here would have it any other way I'm sure.

Scenario #1: This first one was during one of Female Boss' short lived phases. She was in one of those moods where she was taking no guff. All day she was just bitter at about everything; however, the one thing that stood out that day was when she was on the phone with some client and said client brought on one of their clients to complain to Female Boss about their experience dealing with her. Needless to say she was caught off guard, embarrassed and pissed. To deal with her frustration Female Boss had some scathing words to say to the poor, helpless base of her phone, "Great! You fuck! Great! (Changing her voice to emulate someone with a speech impediment now) Oh, hi my name is Jack and I had some concerns (Angrier now) about how stupid you are! (Switching to stern) I bet your last name is Jack Fuck! (Trailing off into mumbling) Writing it down as Fuck, Jack on resumes."

Scenario #2: After receiving some in-mails about how horses are killed in the United States, Female Boss has gone on a short-lived PETA kick. Everything is oppressed, the world is caving in, severe depression.. the life of so many idiots in this world.. I am sure you know the type. In her newfound world view that lasted all of 4 days, Female Boss made the decision to let Demonseed "roam free" as she says. No more cage for the bird. Sounds good to me. Let's go over how it played out.

Day 1: Two rolls of paper towels and her kitchen towel shredded.

Day 2: In the night, Demonseed found interest in all 4 of the pillows on the couch, not the cushions. Too bad the couch stayed intact.

Day 3: Female Boss finds herself cleaning up and complaining about bird shit "hiding everywhere."

Day 4: On Demonseed's final day of freedom the hose of the vacuum was split in two by one powerful beak. The cord was also frayed in three places.

Expensive lesson. So much for that idea, brainiac.