"It looka like a man."

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

We've all seen that sketch that got old after the first 25 seconds on Mad TV haven't we? Oh well, who cares. Its really not that important. However, it does shed some light on how brazenly stupid Male Boss remains. There is no need for me to re-link you guys the myriad of stories about how Male Boss is all but hopeless when it comes to computers so you're gonna have to go back and refresh yourself with terms like "in-mail" on your own time.

A while back I showed Male Boss how to set up some basic computer bullshit. He asked a bunch of stupid questions while I was doing it and then would repeat aloud what I was doing. For example, taking a cord and plugging it into the back of the computer he would say, "Yeah, go ahead and take that and plug it right there," while I'm doing it! Pretty fuckin annoying, lemme tell ya. I tried to teach him anything but Male Boss is the type of guy that doesn't have the patience to learn anything new and once sees it, thinks he is a know-it-all. I could really care less, its when he bugs me on the weekend to try and figure out shit that I couldn't decipher to save my family.

I remember getting a voicemail over this one weekend. It was Male Boss, calling from his cell phone from a friend's house. They were trying to set up the guy's new computer. Somehow, they got the computer up and running but when it came to the peripherals they started coming across snags. The voicemail was half in english and the other half in the beautiful, angry barks that is his native language.

What stuck out most in my mind is, "We have the cable with the man on it. We want to know where it needs to be plugged. Looks like a man, I don't know. Where do we put?"

Next voicemail message was him again, Male Boss kept repeating himself, the same shit, while talking to the guy that was with him. Both messages were a good 2 minutes. I had no clue what the poor guy was talking about at all. After shaving another 2 hours off the clock in the hopes that he would no longer be at his friend's house I called him back. Thankfully he didn't answer his cell so I just left him a message that I'll see if I can figure it out come Monday.

On Monday, he presented me with the problem. He drew a sketch of a stick figure. I asked him what it was. Male Boss insisted it was the symbol on the cord and they had no clue what it meant.

"What means that? Looks like the man, right?"

I affirmed that yes, that drawing does look like a man but I have never seen anything like that before on a computer part. After a few frustrating minutes Male Boss calls his friend up. Thank god the fucker spoke good english. He told me that it was his printer. They had the old-school fatty cable that his computer didn't have and then there was the second cable to connect to the computer.

"The USB cable?" I asked.

The guy had no clue what I meant, so I put him on hold. I went to our printer and pulled out the USB cable.

"Is this what it looks like?" I asked Male Boss.

"Yeah, pretty thin like that."

"Has to be the USB cable then," I told him.

"What about the man then?" he asked me.

Having no fucking clue what he was talking about I gave the cable a closer inspection. No fuckin way. This couldn't possibly be. I lifted the end of the cable to Male Boss' eye level, "This it?"

"Yes! That's the man! What's fucking means that!?"

"That is USB symbol, Male Boss. Its not a man."

You know what it looks like? Here take a look. Rotate it in your head so that the circle is at the top.. I guess thats the head. Just like a man right? Fuckin unreal. Rather than the conversation ending with Male Boss' strangulation with a USB cable it ended with..

"To me looks like a man. That's the older people thinks. You see, you are young so you know. To me, looks like a man. Its a fucking man."