Time Well Spent

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Just when I thought I couldn't say What the fuck often enuff, Female Boss comes in with some more crap. I mean, what the fuck! I am not one to tell people how to spend their free time but this is just about the dumbest shit I have ever seen. You ready for this? I don't think you are. Jeezus fuck, this is so stupid!

Female Boss is sitting there on her lunch break. She decides to bring in a salad from home today and talking about how "fresh" it is. I hope so idiot, you brought that shit from home! Just when I am settling back in from my lunch break and starting to get my workload started, Female Boss starts rusting through some letters she brought from home.

"This is really interesting, Northe."

"What is?" which is my way of saying what now you, fuckin reject!?

"I am reading some of these ads I am getting in the mail," Female Boss pauses.

I would guess she is reading one or trying to get back that hiccup in her brain so it can start spewing forth further bullshit. Regardless, I take the chance to give her a quick jab, "You mean junk mail?"

"Well, I guess. No, not really. Kinda."

There goes that hiccup again. Her own stupidity is at war with itself. Its amazing!

"Well, I mean listen to this. They use words like exclusive and congratulations and this is an invitation. Then it goes on to tell me that I am part of a select few.

"Okay," I say waiting for her genius to reach its apex.

"Well, I mean isn't this interesting?"

"What is?" At this point I have to challenge her cuz she is fuckin nuts and I want to let her know. Does it work tho? No. Questions are only answered by those with the aptitude to perform that task. Female Boss is only able to put forth idiocy, not describe it. Fair enuff?

"I'm gonna call 'em."

So, here I sit listening to the stupidest conversation of my life between two festering hags that could very well team up to beat a baboon in a spelling contest and still lose. Female Boss is asking them all these questions about the words they use in their ad and then goes on to complement this pigeon on the other end of the phone.

"This is great!"

In the amount of time it would have taken me to hack off her limbs and quarter her torso, Female Boss finishes her conversation.

"Well, get this. They told me to keep the letter that I received if I find interest in using their services."

"Are you going to?"

"Sure, why not? I think they want to make me feel special. Call me crazy but I think they are going to enter me into a raffle." More excited now, "Wouldn't that be great! I mean that would really be something."

How the.. what in the fuckin hell is she talking about!? What raffle!? What anything!? No, I won't call you crazy.. I'll call you a dumb fuck! Do something.. ANYTHING more productive with your time then dreaming up this nonsensical bullshit! Fuck!