The Kryssmas Chronicles: "Sortie Mission Training"

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Good ol' Kryssmas. As you can readily tell, Kryssmas and Male Boss shared a beautiful connection from the start. He seemed to take a real shine to this pathetic creature and wanted to make it part of the family. It's either that or he was actually training this bird to become a menace.. essentially, even still, making it part of the family.. you know, considering nothing or no one in the office is particularly good, nice, well behaved or even normal. The fact that Kryssmas loves to practice the art of self-mutilation, as noted in the previous tale, there are only a few more benchmarks that need to be reached. The question is if Male Boss will deliver?

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Female Boss Shorts 13

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Since its literally been almost a year since I gave you guys some Female Boss Shorts I will go ahead and throw in a bonus 4th Scenario.

Scenario #1: I can't even recall what the hell Female Boss was doing when she was thinking out loud about this one. Whatever it was, I guess it would fall under the classification of being mathematical. It started off like this:

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Pigfoot's Nook

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This is another tale of woe and comeuppence. For those of you that are current on your Angry Time lore, you know that Pigfoot is a product of surroundings. Furthermore, if you are current on your Angry Time lore you know that the climate in which Pigfoot lives is essentially the world of inaction, zero discipline and stark raving lunacy. Certainly, for those of us that are left in the world that possess some shred of sanity look at this as a problem but Female Boss would not have things any other way. Her dogs' happiness is more important than anything else and due to her humane approach to pet ownership she shall continue to be punished for the nincompoop that she is.

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Oh, Telephones..

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As Angry Timers, we have been bobbing in the wake of this dandy for years now. I never figured that there'd be something worthy of a post regarding telephones again but here you have it. In the grand task of going through these here archives, that I write to you now, that will fall upon our future generations I think the consensus will be that the probability of this happening would have taken place much sooner in history. The thing is, I think for situations like this, timing is everything. I know for a fact she, yes Female Boss not Male Boss this time, has bitched about such paltry and inane affairs before regarding her desk phone but it took just the right amount of zero-to-do to get that thingamabob that is in her skull in place of a fully functioning brain to flop around just enough to cause not only ephemeral infatuation but also the all-important action. I bring you last week's actions of this hopeless reject.

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Take That, You Swine!

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Sorry for having been going off topic as of late, but sometimes I feel like getting my opinion down on random crap that I come across from time to time. This post however, will cover the favorite pig of Angry Time.. Master Dunkirt. I know how much you guys love this fat fuck but trust me, he's not lovable at all.. he's a disgusting asshole. So as you read this post you must picture me with a huge smile on my face.

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Christian Bale Defensive

Would it surprise anyone that I would cover something like this? Well, it should. Typically I can give a shit about these prissy Hollywood types and their ilk, mostly bcuz they are responsible for so many of life's great disappointments. Seriously, as an industry, these fucks probably dish out more disappointments annually than an eschatologist's diary.. wrap your brain around that one, cuz I'm not gonna explain further. Time and time again, we as a race, get hyped up at the idea that Hollywood is gonna breathe life into a great story and after pathetic writers and talentless actors scatter their filth over the potential of what could have been we are left with a limp, whimpering excuse of a movie. Before I spiral out of control on that rant, let's get back to what Angry Time celebrates.. the over the top tirade.

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Smacked Into Place

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Let's skip the nonsense and dive right in. Male Boss made the executive decision to not only spend lunch at the office but he decided to spark up the ol' range and do some cooking. Not sure what the hell he made but it smelled good. All the while I could hear him clanging around the cupboards and shuffling through the pantry using who knows how many pots and pans to complete his concoction. Whatever he was cooking it took him a good 20 min to cook it and the same amount of time to devour it. Male Boss settled in the sitting room shortly after, licking his chops and scratching. Right before he could fall into slumber Female Boss walks in.. maybe back from lunch? Who the fuck knows she left at like 11:30 this morning and bothered to return.. at 3:30pm.

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