Been a Minute

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Realizing, thanks to HMT, that I have put on a very marginal showing here lately I'll try to make it up with a quick post before the Bosses start arriving at the office. I guess this one comes to mind first, its either going to make you laugh or continue to think ill of me. Either of which is worthy of Angry Time as that is usually the end product when I think about these day by day scenarios that I have to deal with. So buck up and read!

Apparently that little experiment I did with Pigfoot is larger than life. The outcome is more significant than expected. Hell, I could be a real asshat for that stunt. Oh well, I'll take it. I think its funny.

Pigfoot has not been able to lose weight since. In fact he has gained more. His appetite has grown significantly and even without my aid, the Usurper himself is managing to tip the scales to a dangerous level. Female Boss took him to the vet and the outlook was pretty glum. He is becoming dangerously fat. Morbidly obese? Not yet.. maybe soon.. keep your fingers crossed. The thing is, I really didn't notice until Female Boss came back with the news.

The guy is turning into a butterball. Skin distended and taut. The neck roll is a supreme bulge that lifts off his body a good inch and a half if not more when he looks up. His legs are appearing to have thinned, maybe its just bcuz he has gained so much weight. He has not meat on em. It looks frikkin hilarious. I guess its so funny to me cuz an episode of The Simpsons comes to mind.

Setting up that little scene real quick and closing out the post. What you have is Homer and Bart cooking up tons and tons of bacon to sell the grease. There are tons of great lines that I won't mention and I'll just get to the point. They have to get rid of the bacon so who better to feed it to than Santa's Little Helper. Now the poor guy is tucked underneath the kitchen table completely wrecked, laying down on his side, struggling to take a breath with tongue unrolled onto the kitchen floor.

Homer's response to the situation, "Looks like he's ready for another squeezin'!"

Agreed Homer, agreed.