Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Seventeen!

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

Holy shit, some peoples' kids! Over the weekend a couple of my friends and I go into the champion of most burger places, In N Out. For those of you sad sacks that don't have In N Out on your side of the country imagine a hamburger dipped in heaven. That sums it up. Hands down fantastic. For those that don't know, next time you go order your burger "animal style" or if you're lookin to save yourself a few calories, go "protein wrap." These are unwritten on their simple menu but nevertheless worth their weight in pickle brine.

In N Out is typically a drive-thru experience. You kill about 20 minutes in the car with your buddies while you wait in a slow moving line but the payoff is good eats. However, today would be different. The line for the drive-thru was a good 20 cars deep which is roughly 45 min. We said fuck it, we order now we eat sooner.. so we went inside to order our burgers. Whilst in this fine dining establishment, which is packed to the hilt per the norm, I see some lady in a wheel chair waiting for her order at the counter. I can see that she is obviously perturbed, more reason to point her out to the friends and laugh.

An employee drops down two boxes of burgers, reads off the numbers 22 and 24. The lady lets out an audible sigh. We crack up. 22 comes up and takes her order.

The employee says out loud again, "24."

The wheel-chaired woman comes back with, "Seventeen!"

This is going to be great. We all start laughing. Much to her chagrin I am sure. Like I give a shit, what's she gonna do? I can easily overpower her, right? So we continue to laugh.

The employee drops off another order, "23."

The lady in the wheelchair strikes back, "Seventeen!"

Time passes, "26, 27."

"Seventeen!"

At this point we have a few others following our horrible example of human nature and making the scene that more negatively charged. Good shit people, prey on the weak. The best is that the employees are absolutely and I mean completely ignoring this poor lady. I realize that I am completely surrounded by idiocy, as I am everyday, so its really nothing new.

"25, 29."

"Seventeen! Seventeen!" she yells waving her receipt with order number printed on it over her head.

Physicality is a great sign to realize a person's up and coming breaking point. If you ever are in the business of wanting to know when a person is losing their cool, watch their body language. Her's has become verbose and is borderline vulgar. The In N Out employees are in her head officially now as they keep shuttling back and forth from the kitchen.

"28."

"Seventeen!"

We finally are up to place our order. The girl that is taking the orders has been grinning at us the entire time as we make jokes about that poor lady. Typical of Angry Time, I never allow others to really feel like they are "in" with the joke. So, in asshole fashion I place my order to her smiling and giggling under her breath and tell her, "Seriously, help the frikkin lady out. Enough is enough."

Her smile fades to scorn. What? Don't like being told that someone is suffering within the realm of your own control? Do your fuckin job and if its not your job call out the person who's job it is. Angry Time guys, its a way of life. Fuck everyone. You haven't been paying attention.

"30, 31."

"Seventeen! Seventeen! Jesus! Seventeen! Hello!?"

As I walk by the lady, to fill up my beverage cup, I say nice and loudly to my friend, "Fuck. Order 44. This is gonna take forever."

The jig is up. She's had it. No more guff.

"Seventeen!"

"33."

"Seventeen! Give me my order, where is seventeen!? My seventeen!"

Finally a guy comes out. He's a kid like everyone else working there. There is no visual sign of a "manager" per se. Everyone is the same age. He takes her order and scans the counter. There is nothing on the counter. Its like someone hid her burger and fries. He literally spent 15 seconds scanning three feet of counter space. What the hell! Get the lady her fuckin order!

Five more orders come out before the lady gets her shit. She was so huffy and puffy it was a perfect sideshow. Comeuppence did have its day tho as my order got switched with this other guy's. Delayed my lunch by a good 10 minutes. Damn you Burger Gods.

3 comments:

Phelps said...

Coincidentally, 17 is the number of rounds in my Glock. It is almost mechanical with me now. I don't even count. I just know when I have shot the last bullet, the clip drops free because my thumb has depressed the magazine release, and my off hand is already bringing me more bullets. All of the sudden, Mr. Thumb has dropped the slide release because the off-hand has arrived with the clip, and it is time for the people to end thier break at the In and Out and continue ducking and running in terror.

Actually, I just shoot at paper. But you fight like you train, and baby, I train.

Oh, and it is Griffs in Dallas. Hungry Man Special. Triple-Triple wrapped in clear plastic wrap that was waxed paper when they put it in the bag. Mmmmmmm.

HMT said...

no, Phelps. You don't "fight like you train".

you should try to emmulate a "Bear" or a "Dog" when you fight. Just ask my imaginary sensei

Mexigogue said...

Waiting for fast food will one day drive me to McMurder. . . >:-o