He's just lookin' out for Pigfoot..

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

With such great response, via phone, fax, *ahem* in-mail and satellite uplink from overseas, from this post I have decided to start making Friday the disturbing story day. So here goes.

Typical morning scenario. Male Boss, Female Boss and I are in the office. Everyone is handling their business and the phones are thankfully quiet. The One is going bananas because he is fifteen feet away from Female Boss and not being paid attention to. Soon enough all the dogs are copying what The One is doing. Female boss reacts in any number of ways that include: completely ignoring them, smacking the dictionary on the desk, yelling "STOP IT!" or succumbing to their calls and rewarding their bad behavior with treats. I wonder why this behavior continues...

This happens to be a time where Female Boss is pulling her hair out in frustration with the insanely loud yiping and yelping going on. Instead of handling it herself, she makes Male Boss the point man to resolve the situation. Angry Time faithfuls, shake your heads now. Clearly this is a critical error on the part of Female Boss as Male Boss.. well, read any post about Male Boss and I can say no more..

Male Boss approaches the doggy barrier and leans over to grab one of the dogs. He is there lingering there. Not much noise is coming from his general direction which sets off Female Boss' radar. Male Boss was there for about 2 minutes before Female Boss realizes this.

"What the hell are you doing?" asks Female Boss with a tinge of anger already in her voice.

"Just helping out Pigfoot," he says laughing.

"What? What the hell are you doing!?" Female Boss goes over to take a gander.

Again, Male Boss is bent over the doggy barrier at the waist and both of his hands are outstretched.

"Holy shit, you fucking pervert!" screams Female Boss. "Stop it! Get the fuck away! Get the fuck away from them you sick bastard!"

Male Boss is dying laughing, he crashes to his knees he is laughing so hard. I can only imagine and unfortunately my imagination is right on the money.

"I am just trying to help Pigfoot get some ass, what the fuck is wrong with you?" asks Male Boss with a big smirk on his face.

Female Boss is pissed.

So the story concludes, Male Boss was holding Puppy in place while Pigfoot was trying to go to town on her. Unbelievable.

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Off topic: Take the time if you haven't yet. Its our duty as fellow Americans to take care of the well-being of our friends, families and neighbors. People are suffering insanely out there and I will spare you a lecture but I hope that you find the time and put aside anything from drinking money to sushi money and put it towards something that matters more than our instant gratification. Be thankful for what you have guys. Have a great holiday weekend.