Vegas: Last Day

First time? Start here. Read "The Primer" and follow the link at the end. Chronological order makes more sense for the stories.

The last day of Vegas is always weighed with circumstantial Pros and Cons. You never leave Vegas feeling completely the same way you have during any prior trip. For some I know they can't get outta there quick enuff. For others they are already long gone with early morning flights.

For me, it was rather bitter sweet. With how much fun I really had on the weekend its hard to just get up and leave. On the other hand, the three hours of sleep and bottle of Belvedere I have in my system when its 11am is racking my body. Saying goodbye to the friends under those conditions is always a laugh. Its a laugh bcuz you see the pain in the other guys you were with the night prior and you get to hear all the great stories passed along.

The final story I am going to share with you, I believe, happened on Saturday night. I could be completely wrong, it coulda been Friday. All I know is it was Tom Foolery, another fellow Angry Timer's, birthday. Good old Tom Foolery. Last year in Vegas I think he was sober the first 1.5 hours of the trip only cuz he couldn't get drunk on such a short flight. From that point on he was shit-housed. Now take a guy that drinks like that for no particular occasion and slam him in Vegas on his birthday weekend. However, this is the only story worthy of Angry Time print this year.

Tom Foolery and mO RLY (Morly) are both heavy drinkers. To my knowledge the drinking started way early in the day and reaching the point of surly and degenerate behavior is long passed. They are both at the point of indifference. The two men stroll over to the Poker Room and wish to get on a table. Tom Foolery is a pretty big gambler, he likes to bring a good amount and bet pretty big. Both Tom Foolery and mO RLY get in with no problems. I mean come on, they may be drunk but if they're gonna play poker they gotta be able to pull off the poker face to get in without much suspicion, right?

It is done. Now this is the story told to me by Tom Foolery himself: Apparently he walks in with mO RLY. Tom Foolery takes a seat at a poker table. He begins to gamble. He really doesn't remember how well he did, the only truths at that point of the night is that he is A) Drunk as shit and B) Gambling with his buddy.

Time passes, Tom Foolery is still both drunk and gambling. So far so good. He looks around for a bit to shoot the breeze with mO RLY. Good ol' mO RLY. Wait a second. Whe.. Where's mO RLY??

Tom Foolery is angry. He looks at the dealer, "Hey, where the fuck is my friend?"

Dealer responds, "Sir, you can't say fuck to the dealer."

Tom Foolery is insulted. That guy didn't just say that to Mr. Foolery, an esteemed gambler.. of sorts! Tom Foolery, with eyes glazed, focuses in on the three dealers in front of him and picks up his chips.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself."

Go take on the week!!